Hi Tinkerbell,
I saw your post and wanted to let you know I am in a similar situation.
I was on medication and doing okay, decided to see if I could be okay without it (with doctor's approval). Ended up back on medication and don't find the medication helping now as much as it did before.
Finding it difficult to improve my mood and thoughts.
Find it frustrating and lonely.
You're not alone.
Hang in there.