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10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 44

Hi suzz2273,

I am new to this support group and I have just read your story. I am so very sorry for the loss of your son. I cannot imagine such a traged. I know through my own losses throughout my lifetime that you really have to try to give thanks and be so grateful for the time that you had together. Your story resonates with me...that sometimes life becomes a series of chores and the days are more to be endured than enjoyed. Through this site I have also found out that as a depressed person you really do have to schedule more pleasure in your life. The other nugget that I can take away from my sessions so far is that for a depressed person the behaviour has to come before the motivation. This rings so true for me. I am really trying to "just do it" rather than thinking about it and talking myself out of it. It also helps a lot to reach out to others. I have just watched an interesting talk on happiness and I highly recommend watching it. It's called "The Happiness Advantage" by Shawn Achor on youtube. It suggests that it is possible to train your brain to be happy. In order to do so you have to focus on the positive and not the negative and gives you ways to do this. It suggests that daily you write down: 1. 3 things that you are grateful for 2. journal one positve experience 3. random act of kindness 4. exercise and 5. medidation. I am going to give it a try and I hope that you do too. I know that there are days that the "black hole" just swallows you up and sometimes I don't fight it, I let it be and know that tomorrow is another day. I wish you all the best.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

Hi suzz. Welcome to the DC. I only just saw your post today and am wondering how you are doing since you last checked in. Your story resonates with my own in many ways. I hope can find the energy to keep coming back and posting your concerns. We are here to listen and help in anyway we can. The ppl here are very caring and certainly have supported me through the darkest of times... including the death of my son at age 27. My outlook on life has improved greatly and I believe yours can to. I look forward to hearing from you again... soon?

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Glad to hear you have a little hope now.

If you don't feel up for doing the program try just reading one page a day. If you feel like more great, if not, that's ok too.

Either way, post often.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2

Thank you for offering help and hope. Indeed, it seems a matter of forcing myself to leave my "hermitage" and find ways to connect with others. This is no small hurdle. I hope to continue to find encouragement here. Right now it feels like grasping through darkness. At the same time, I'm grateful for hope. Saw doc today, and I will be adding meds back. Maybe that will give me enough boost to go through these steps.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Welcome Suzz2273,

I am so sorry to read all you have had to go through and how you are feeling now. Sometimes I think the worst things happen to the oldest, kindest souls. Perhaps it's because they have the hardest lessons to learn still? Regardless, it's not fair and my heart really goes out to you.

Know that now you do have a team to turn to. We will be here for you every step of the way. Im not going to say life will be smooth sailing from now on but if you put some work into the program and you post often you will notice a difference. The program is based on CBT principles. CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) is one of the best forms of treatment for depression. It takes doing homework and really commiting to the process. Try to finish one session a week but you can take longer if you like as well.

Read the first session when you have a chance and let us know your thoughts and if you have any questions.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 20

Welcome Suzz. It sounds as though life has dealt you a lot of hardship, which is not your fault. Depression can be so debilitating and negative thinking can make the world seem so bleak. One thing I found helpful, which is an integral part of the DC program, was to force myself to go out and do activities that I enjoy and give me, even momentarily, a feeling of joy. It takes work, but eventually those too few bright spots become more frequent and last longer and the black holes shink and fade.

Good luck on your journey. I admire your commitment to your family!

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2

Greetings. I'm female, 60, with a 20 yr history of depression. Have tried some meds off and on mostly gone with what I call the "wounded animal" method of coping; curl up in a corner and suffer through it. That hasn't worked well at all. I have a chronic illness which began about 2 yrs before my son died. He was 21. At the time, I said to my husband, "how will there ever be strength to make it through whatever the rest of life will bring?" I have felt that way since. I have lived because of my husband and daughter, mostly seeing life as tedium and chores to endure. There are periods of remission. Then the black hole opens again and down ifall. I read a quote today "life is tedious and discouraging. There is no delight for me anymore." That fits for me. Now I am facing new challenges with my husband's health. Due to disabling illness, age, new location, we are isolated. I have one family member to talk to. It isn't enough. I am in the black hole now. I have felt for a long time that life is just too overwhelming and tiring...with too few bright spots. I keep working at it because I dont want to lose all hope. I dont want to leave my family feeling grief for melike what I feel for my son. Ok...so that's me.

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