Thanks for the welcome, eleveno. I'm wondering why you are trying to wean yourself off of your meds? I understand if you think you can manage with mindfulness and yoga, but personally I think my condition is not manageable without the meds. And unfortunately, my experience with rapid cycling convinces me I am very likely Bipolar II. I've come uncomfortably close to mania before. I have been trying for several months to keep a mood chart that is more detailed than the mood tracker here, and it lists elevated moods as well as depressed ones. I'm hoping this will help my pdocs get me evened out. For years in my 20's and 30's I was a runner, without getting depression relief, but very driven to do it--my pdoc says I was chasing the endorphins but in my case it was the wrong drug, so wasn't going to work for me, even though that one has some real "feel good" properties. My goal is to become as close to normal and functional as I can. I think this can only happen with a more normal brain chemistry and mine just isn't. So, while I understand the need to be "drug free" I also get that some of us don't have that luxury. I also have very high cholesterol and have managed to get that down to normal with diet, but in order to do so, I have to be starved down to an unhealthy weight. I don't want to take statins, which I consider unsafe, so I tolerate an elevated cholesterol, which I don't like either. I can't tolerate the depression. I can't function or work, which I have to do to survive. Seroquel is pretty strong stuff, isn't it? I use Zaleplon occasionally when I can't sleep. My pdoc says they use it for soldiers in the field who have to wake up and function right away--it doesn't last long and doesn't leave you groggy. Only keeps you asleep for 4 hours and then it is gone from your system. Are you working through the program here? Has it helped you? I am starting and find it hopeful, although I can only see myself doing it when not profoundly depressed, so in between episodes.
