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What we know about stress at work II

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What we know about stress at work II

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

Original Post by: Pete

Hi Ashley

I think you're probably right that I would be gentler on a friend than myself ... but I know me too well!

I know how I compound stress by avoidance, by procrastination, by lack of assertiveness, by being prey to frequent petty feelings of fear. I see these things clear in myself but feel powerless to change this behaviour, so ingrained and habitual is it.

But I mustn't go too over the top here - sometimes I just think too much, articulate things that would seem less significant if left unsaid, when I ought to be simply getting on with life. And day by day I'm getting by. Haven't cracked yet.

Trying to be like a tree in a storm - bending but not breaking!

Pete, you wrote that the stress you feel is all your fault because you are weak and lack character. Um... really? I worked in an academic library as a paraprofessional and my dh continues working in a public library. Library work is incredibly stressful. Doubly so because non-library folks always think it's so wonderful you have a job working in a library..."you get to sit around reading all day." HA! It is by far the most stressful job either of us ever had. The politics and pressure and (OMG!) patrons. It is a very tough job. Very.

All of that explanation is just to challenge you a little bit about the fault being all yours. I get it. I do. I've had a lot of shame about leaving my job due to my own "lack of character" ... well, actually I called it "mental health issues". The self-condemnation is the same no matter what we call it and in the midst of depression we accept that judgment without dispute. But that's the depression speaking. Fact is... we are rarely 100% at fault for anything.

Anyway... I hope you are feeling somewhat better and can come up with a more balanced understanding of your work stress. Try, try to be kind to you... says the kettle to the pot.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 223

Hi Ashley

I think you're probably right that I would be gentler on a friend than myself ... but I know me too well!

I know how I compound stress by avoidance, by procrastination, by lack of assertiveness, by being prey to frequent petty feelings of fear. I see these things clear in myself but feel powerless to change this behaviour, so ingrained and habitual is it.

But I mustn't go too over the top here - sometimes I just think too much, articulate things that would seem less significant if left unsaid, when I ought to be simply getting on with life. And day by day I'm getting by. Haven't cracked yet.

Trying to be like a tree in a storm - bending but not breaking!

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11212

Hi Pete,

It sounds like you have already taken positive action towards easing your stress. Also, from what you describe it sounds perfectly reasonable that you are still stressed. You are only human Pete and under the right (or I should say wrong) conditions humans get stressed. You can ease symptoms by using stress managment techniques and by taking action like you have but sometimes stress will still remain. Continue to challenge negative thinking and be easy on yourself. Recognize that anyone would be stressed in your situation it is not about lack of character at all!

Curious Pete, what would you tell a friend if they were in a similair experience? I have a hunch you would be quite compassionate...what stops you from being compassionate with yourself?

Ashley

Here to help :)

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 223

Hi Ashley

I'm very stressed at work at the moment (and at home, unfortunately, though that's a different story).

Several of the factors you mention are at play here:

The discrepancy between my personality/abilities and what I'm asked to do
Poor organisation
Recent 'restructuring' with doubts about job security and eventual role
Overly corporate management style with constant pressure to pretend that everything is great. Dissenting voices ostracised and made to feel deviant and unreasonably negative
Just plain too much work

I've spoken to my immediate manager about my stress levels, which have caused some absences, and she is sympathetic. We have drawn up a stress action plan and mapped my major stressors to my job description. She will try to reduce my stress triggers as much as possible, but there is only so much she can do. Basically and at root, I can't hide from the fact that the fault lies with my own weakness and lack of character. I know I should be able to 'tough it out' but I just can't, so that thought just adds another layer to the stress and makes me even more paralysed.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11212

In the past week, we’ve been talking about stress management. Contrary to popular belief, stress is not a given when it comes to working. Stress at work is commonly caused by:

A large discrepancy between the characteristics of the individual, the demands of the job and the resources available to that employee to complete the work required.
A poor environment that may include air pollution, crowding or lack of space. Poor organization, lack of breaks and frequency of overtime are common culprits.
Lack of job security or other career concerns regarding advancement or demotion.
The role played can cause stress when the boundaries or responsibilities are unclear or the individual is required to “wear more than one hat.”
Interpersonal relationships & conflicts between coworkers.
Management style can greatly impact levels of employee stress. Poor communication, lack of respect for family oriented cultural or religious individuals & values, lack of participation in decision-making are common culprits.

Which of these workplace stressors seem familiar to you? What steps have you taken to relieve these stressors?

Here to help :)

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What we know about stress at work II