Hi Vincenza
Thanks for asking about my weekend. It was mixed. Saturday was okay - I went to a wrestling show with my son. It was entertaining and a good escape for a handful of hours.
Sunday - well, I awoke with a splitting headache and feeling sick. I often do on Sundays. That's nothing to do with drinking on Saturday night as you may surmise - I don't drink. It seems that on Sundays my system needs to reboot, work out all the strain of the preceding week. Gradually as Sunday went on I revived slightly, but was unable to eat all day. But, as always, what is supposed to be a quiet and relaxing day turned into a trial. I should be used to it by now.
You ask what challenges I face at the moment. I'll try and be brief, because we all have these kind of things, just some of us cope and some of us struggle. I don't imagine I'm uniquely burdened at all.
First, my 91 year-old mother. Half-blind, more than half-deaf and unsteady on her feet. Widowed and lives on her own half a mile from me. A proud woman, she has only just admitted to needing help with daily life. She insists on going out every day and has had several misadventures of late - being robbed, falling and ending up in hospital (and discharging herself), getting lost and brought home by the police. I work full time and cannot give her the daily care she needs - I am trying to set up a care package but that involves talking to so many people that the process is freaking me out, even though I know I have to do it for her.
Second, my work. Been subject to restructuring and all the stress that comes with that process. Very busy as well, but with roles undefined and much uncertainty. Combine that with a corporate culture that expects us to be smiley and excited and positive all the time - virtually thought control going on, where any dissenting or alternative opinion is treated as near-heresy and suppressed - and we have a recipe for great stress. I'm not bad at my job, but I feel so insecure and inadequate at work at the moment.
Third, our house. Some very expensive, necessary and disruptive work coming up. Just picking our builder at the moment, being visited and getting estimates. I have a week's leave next month, but that's when the house will be full of chaos and mess.
I just feel like there's no shelter anywhere. And, unfortunately, when I get stressed like this the depression tends to kick back in. I'd been better for a few months but the way I react to stress raises all kinds of questions about myself, which quickly turns to self-loathing and ... well, we end up in the same spiral again.
Just hoping to be able to log on here over the weekend. Even that is still progress... of sorts. 
) 
