I've also struggled with defining rewards. I really enjoy fresh air activities, but doing those things are my goals/pleasant activities. It seems like I would be denying myself those physical health benefits and mood-lifting opportunities if I only allowed myself to do them after I completed some other task.
I considered using material rewards, like buying myself a new jacket if I completed all my goals for a month. But I don't like shopping and I am quite frugal so I did not actually end up purchasing the jacket.
I have recently come up with an idea for a new creative writing project that I am really excited about. Since it is a non-essential, purely leisure activity, I have decided to use spending time on it as a reward for completing other goals. So far in January I was physically active everyday. I am quite proud about this and I will reward myself by spending an afternoon at the library or coffee shop working on my writing. Also, I meditated for 20 out of 30 days so far this month. If I can meditate more than 20 days next month, I will reward myself with another afternoon writing session.
I think the hardest part about defining rewards is finding something that you desire so that it motivates you to complete your goal, but is separate from those pleasant activities you need to do in order to improve your mood. For those who are really struggling with finding rewards, I think it is more important to just do the pleasant activities (even if it is the only thing you do all day) and use the satisfaction of actually doing it (as opposed to not doing it) as your reward.
Rewards can be a little bit more time doing your drawing after you completed something or challenged something. Rewards could be posting in this support group if that is something you enjoy. Rewards can be anything you enjoy but the main point here is that you do them AFTER you complete a goal or challenge. So if today you get up and get right to your drawings that is fine but you might find the process more rewarding if you complete something productive first (working on the program, working on a goal, etc) and then do your drawings. Once you get in the habit of rewarding yourself after doing something the whole process becomes easier and more enjoyable. Does that make a bit more sense?
Hi Pete,
Ah! Don't tell me you use smoking as a reward! You know I have to tell you that's not a good reward at all and interferes with your health and wellbeing on so many levels. However, you quitting is a personal choice so I will leave it at that.
CDs sound like a wonderful reward, especially because you enjoy music so much. If you can define when you deserve a CD before purchasing one that would be great - something to work towards. That way you may feel more like you deserve it. You not feeling deserving of rewards is something you might want to look at with your therapist. When do you think you could deserve a reward? What would you be doing differently in your life now that would make you feel like you deserved a reward?
Well, I'm unwholesome and unhealthy and I smoke. Cigarettes function as little rewards that help me get by on a daily basis. That's why I find it so hard to give it up. Aside from that, I don't really give myself rewards except, perhaps, buying CDs (I love music), but I always feel guilty, as if I'm wasting money, when I do that. I don't want to act like a special person, whose mental travails give him the right to pamper himself. My wife, who has held everything together and brought up our fine boys whilst I've been all over the place, is the one who deserves rewards.
If I have a good therapy session and come away feeling significantly better about myself than I did when I went in, then that feeling is ample reward in itself.
I was going to say time to draw my tangles, but that has become a necessity. If I am to stay balanced I have to spend at least 15 minutes a day drawing in that Zentangle space. Maybe that is a reward? Yesterday I bought some new pens at the drugstore. Does that count? Why do I struggle so with such a simple concept?
This program can be hard work. You deserve to reward yourself after each session you complete and after each goal you reach. Sometimes it can be hard to find suitable rewards though.
It’s been a while since you were active on this site. Please extend your session below
You have been logged out due to inactivity.
Please sign back in.
We use cookies to help us learn about how our platform is used and how we can improve your experience. To
learn more please see our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.
Don't tell me you use smoking as a reward! You know I have to tell you that's not a good reward at all and interferes with your health and wellbeing on so many levels. However, you quitting is a personal choice so I will leave it at that. 
