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CBT Day - Stress II

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CBT Day - Stress II

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 19

How about starting a thread Trying to get Motivated somewhere.... or " First Aid Solutions for Stress"? like an emergency kit? CBT and the other therapies (as well as writing on this site, I am so gratefull for this!) require systematic work and dedication ( patience) and they are very important for the long term goals, I really believe that, or rather; rely on that. And I do believe in science, and scientific results and proof (like CBT, IT, meds etc)

But there you go: piles of laundry, weeds in the garden, I know! Atm I am dealing with a life or death matter regarding my aquarium (I thought it would be very therapeutic staring at beautiful fish and really did a lot of research before starting one, but a snails (?) plague has taken over and for a long time it has been nothing but a burden and I had to choose between the fish, the plague (poison) and me...)

Yesterday, my daughter (15) got to my nerves so badly, that I wanted to escape! I did not explode (I hardly ever do and if I do, we talk about it afterwards, I'm carefull not to burden her too much and at the same time I have to raise her, explain some life rules to her..) but i wanted to leave! I went to the garden, looked around, and in 1 1/2 hours took out all the weeds in the back garden. Something I wanted to do for months... but it always was too difficult, I couldn´t choose between all the other things on the endless list!

Just saying... there was no blood spilled (as we put it in Holland) during the months I didn´t take the weeds out ,or skipped whatever task there was on the to-do-list when I thought I HAD to do it, but when I suddenly did it, I felt better after an hour or so and went to bed with a lovely hurting muscle ache in my back. Is that was is meant by living in the present? I guess not, but it was an interesting experience anyway. I felt good afterwards, but could I have motivated myself under different circumstances? Maybe in time.

Its eleven o´clock at night on this side of the ocean.... sleep tight my depressed friends!

Diamond

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

Thank you Diamond! Thank you! You words bring tears to my heart. (sounds strange, but that is where I feel them) I do feel better now. I don't realize how much I need encouragement sometimes. Thank you for the support. It is very much appreciated! This morning I am faced with miles of laundry, piles of dishes, a yard that needs weeding, dogs that need washing... the list, of course, goes on and on. I have been trying to get motivated to start somewhere... Instead I logged on and found your note... maybe I'll just have some tea and do some drawing... take a nap and call it a day. Now there's a plan!

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 19

Dear m,

You are so supportive, not just to me but to so many members, and probably in your home life as well. And now I read that you have to focus on what is important... the kids!

You sound very tired and over-stretched. The only "thing" that is important when you feel like this is you! Your well being. Not remembering the tools (not being able to use them) is something I can identify with. To me its a sign that I have not minded my boundaries for a long time, and cannot get "centered" anymore. It always takes someone else to tell me: Rest! Now! (When I tell myself the same thing, its as if it doesn't count.)

Of course children are important. They don't question that for a second

But enough is enough, let them clean up their own mess, and Granny is not a person to scream at when they don't get their way!

Whats wrong with looking forward to the end of May? Can't we dream a little about the future in the Here and Now? Imho, that can relief stress, like a piece of chocolate can relief our need for something soothing. We shouldn't do it all day every day, but hey, we're not superhuman. I for one, cannot live by the (or any) program 24/7. We don't strive for perfection but for progression, is something I learned. And sometimes I don't strive at all. Striving can be very stressfull you see ... ;)

I hope you feel better than yesterday. And that you stopped shaming yourself but instead told yourself what a wonderful person you are, who might need to take a liiiiitle more rest and "m-time". You offer so many supportive and kind words to others, I hope you feel supported too!

Diamond

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

Um.... which category don't I fit into? I've been all over the map this week which is confusing because I really felt like I've been doing better in all areas. Part of the problem is maybe not being totally committed to living in the present. It's hard to be completely focused on the kids, now that I have other plans to look forward to at the end of May. I've returned to shaming and demanding myself to stay focused on what is important... the kids. But I'm so tired of cleaning up the endless mess and being screamed at when I won't take them every single place they want to go.

OK, so I just realized how stressed I am feeling... I'm really good at denying such things and totally ignoring the obvious signs of it. I also seem to forget the skills I've learned to turn things around. I can't remember how to do that. How do I do that? How do I get through the next 4 weeks?... it's only 4 weeks... what's the big deal?

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 19

Hi,

This is a good subject for me, as i only recently found out that a lot of my "symptoms" have to do with stress. It is however a many layered thing, because of so many things add to stress, internal as well as external. I have always been highly sensitive to sounds/noise, light, atmosphere etc, but also things people do (to me, or to eachother) Years ago I decided it was ok not to read the newspapers or watch the news on TV, because it upset me so much. And me knowing about it, being a "well informed person", never made a difference! I even went as far as getting rid of my TV for a year or so, but that medium has also some nice things to offer so I got another one

For me, who thinks too much as it is, it has always been about finding out what caused my extreme unhappiness. Was it the childhood? The world? The Mr. Wrongs I let in my life? Me being highly sensitive? Me suffering a depression? Did my experiences cause depression? Did depression cause my experiences? Etc etc. That thought-train is causing stress by itself!

By now, almost everything I experience is stress, in one way or another. Keeping negative thoughts at bay or tackling them is a big step in the good direction. Also, if someone makes me unhappy I have to be very careful not to loosen the codependent in me and change that person, but change me! And very simple that actually means removing such a person from my life. But simple doesn't mean easy...

Thanks, and I'll be reading this again, as well as the other ones about stress.

Diamond

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11213

Welcome to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Day (CBT) on the forums!

Twice a week will now be known as CBT day.

Once a week a Health Educator will launch a challenge. Members are encouraged to take on the challenge and post their results. A few days later, a Health Educator will post specific tips and strategies to aid you in the way you look/interpret yourself and the way you view the world.

This week we will be talking about stress…

There are many different symptoms of stress and the way stress manifests is different depending on the person and/or situation. Here are a few:
•   Physical symptoms: Stomach pain, back ache, head ache, racing heart, trembling, insomnia, muscle aches, chest pain, nausea, chills, flushing, heart palpitations and more
•   Mental symptoms: Confusion, loss of concentration, racing mind, difficulty with memory and more
•   Emotional symptoms: Anxiety, irritability, impatience, anger, frustrations, fear and more
•   Behavioral symptoms: Pacing, talking quickly, fidgeting, increased or decreased eating, crying, yelling and more

There are two kinds of stressors: external and internal.

External stressors include:
•   Physical environment: noise, bright lights, heat, confined spaces.
•   Social: rudeness, bossiness or aggressiveness on the part of someone else.
•   Organizational: rules, regulations deadlines and office politics.
•   Major life events: divorce, lost job, promotion, new baby.

• Daily hassles: being stuck in traffic, forgetting your purse

Internal stressors include:
•   Lifestyle choices: caffeine, not enough sleep, overloaded schedule, not eating enough or often enough.
•   Negative self-talk: putting yourself down, catastrophizing.
•   Mind traps: unrealistic expectations, taking things personally, all-or-nothing thinking, exaggerating.

• Stressful personality traits: perfectionist, workaholic, people pleaser.

Thinking back to the record you’ve kept this week, which category did you fall into?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

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CBT Day - Stress II