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A bit of a nerve

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A bit of a nerve

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 223

I give a lot of credit to my new therapist that I've mentioned. No, actually, why not credit myself for finding someone whose approach has resonated with me so well? As I've said before, I don't particularly get on with CBT, and this therapist takes different angles.

I'm trying to chuck myself back out into the world, stand taller and be proud of myself, my tastes, my life, my opinions. I've started a Facebook page and am sharing all sorts with colleagues, family and acquaintances. I got back in touch with my best friend (more like my brother he was) from way back in my university days. I'm rejoining my creative writing group. I've been making music and, rather than keep it to myself because I think it's awful, I've posted it online for any and all to hear. I've started writing a memoir and it's led me to realise that, despite how I've felt the last few years, I have had a life, I have known people, I've had experiences, I've done some good. So I have a right to exist as much as anyone else does.

And - best of all, though rather traumatic at the time - I've freed myself from a relationship that was eating my energy and my self-respect, that was leading me to dwell in a cloud of illusion. I've woken up and smelt the coffee, to coin a cliche, and I feel refreshed and more in touch with real life than I have for two years.

The big 'aha' moment for me was writing the memoir, reviewing my life and experiences.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11212

Wow Pete this is amazing!

Can you tell us a bit about how you got there? What was your aha moment? What steps have you taken? What feels different now?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 223

Update - things are going really well at the moment. I'm slowly getting myself back out into the world after these dark times I've had, and I've sorted out some relationship issues that were exhausting me.

I truly feel as if I've turned a corner now and feel mentally more active and engaged than I have for years.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

Pete... this is wonderful news. I am thrilled for you. I was just wallowing in my own blog and feeling awful... had already logged out and then saw you had posted something today. Came back to check it out. I have to tell you... I feel about 100% more positive just reading of your success. Kudos my friend! Thank you, thank you for taking the time to come back and share the good stuff. You just made my day!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11212

This is certainly a success story Pete. Don't let your cognitive distortions or you "saboteur" tell you otherwise!

I love hearing you so positive. It is great to hear. Now that you are so motivated, what is possible from here?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 223

It's probably a bit of a nerve for me to post this in the 'Success Stories' board, but why not, eh?

I usually only frequent this site when I'm in a blue, feeling down and in need of support, then when I'm having more of an 'up' phase I'm too busy with the rest of my life and I don't want to be reminded about depression, so I stay away.

Well, right now I'm not doing so bad. I have a new psychotherapist that I found, and he's bang-on right for me. In a couple of sessions, he's managed to key in on what makes me tick, and he's given me a different view of myself, my life and perceptions. Early days yet, but I think he'll help me make real progress. He's unconventional, irreverent and not afraid to be confrontational. This is just what I needed. And it sounds terrible to say but it's good for me to be seeing a man of a similar age to my own - the empathy and ability to understand my situation feels unforced, natural.

This is neither easy or comfortable, but I am feeling tremendously motivated right now. A novel sensation, but I'll run with it.

Extra bonus - I've started writing again (due to some suggestions from my therapist), and at a rate of production I've never had before. Writing is important to me, and to be unblocked as I am at the moment is a tremendous boon to me.

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A bit of a nerve