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Depression or philosophical?

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 619

Hello wildwildlife,

I understand you very well because when I was 30 (now I am 38) I wanted to get out of the rat race and get something different from. I think this is perfectly normal and it is always positive to pursue our wants. Sometimes we have do adapt our wants to the reality and adjust our plans.

I had the luck of doing extensive travel and I love to travel. I even had planned to travel 1 year around the world and had saved the money for it. Life changed and then I met my wife. After that I did not do my travel around the world and I spent the money on other priorities.

You have to decide what are your options right now and do what you think is best for you.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 22

Yup - I definitely answered my own question when I asked 'if this is really where I want to be'! Now to figure out what to do about that.(read: the hard part - sit with myself and figuring out exactly what I don't like about working here, and determining a 'move on' plan) (and then execute it. etc.)

When I consider my finances, I may have more flexibility than I thought - I have a few months' worth of basic expenses saved up, on top of the travel fund / nest egg. And yes, I definitely automate my savings, and credit that entirely!

To be completely honest, my first reaction to the question of 'what I would hope to get out of traveling' is that it helps me collect experiences. I think of myself as having a sort of 'experience database'. This way, when I come across new events or stressors, I'm usually able to relate that to some kind of previous experience, and then I'm better able to tackle it. I have found that I am prone to meltdowns when I face stressful situations that I cannot rely on past experience for, though ABCDEF has very much helped me here.

That said, travel does do more than build my armor. I find traveling to be a skill in its own right, and one that I like developing. My progress so far has been 2-day, then 10-day, 30-day international trips. I would spend a 3-month trip in Mexico. A year-trip would go from southeast Asia, west on the trans-siberian railway, more europe, and probably finish with the 'camino de santiago' pilgrimage.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 270

wildwildlife,

Rest assured that you are certainly not alone in having a case of "is this all there is"! Many people find themselves in this situation but luckily, it is often temporary. You ask: "Is this really where I want to be?"and I'm tempted to suggest that the asking the question in itself provides the answer.

It's great that you're involving yourself in the community; putting time into causes that mean a lot to you will allow you to get closer to the career path which will ultimately be most fulfilling to you. What other groups or community organizations interest you? What are your long term goals and your dreams for your life? The answers may not be clear just yet but keeping these questions top of mind will help to ensure you are continuously working towards creating the life that will bring you joy.

Travelling is a great way of discovering new things and simultaneously learning about oneself, on that note. Where would you spend a 3 month trip? Or a 1 year trip? What would you hope to get out of it? Here again, it may be helpful to clearly define your goals as this will help you narrow down where you'd like to go and for how long. Like you said, you don't need to decide right away. But if your current job is bringing you down, then it may be worth it to devise a plan to eventually move on and pursue your travel and other life goals.

Finally, with respect to saving money: a lot of people find it helpful (if possible) to automatically set aside the money they'd like to save at each paycheque. In other words, save first, and then budget for how you will spend the rest. This will ensure that you are putting some funds towards your goals on a consistent basis. Is this something you would consider?

Sonia

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 22

I'm in my mid-20's - and I've really under a case of "is this all there really is?" recently.

I've been at my job for about 7 months now, and make enough to save a good percentage of it. It's not a lot, but enough to live on and save.

However, when I look at my colleagues, they've been there 5-10 years. I'm not convinced I buy the daily grind. My life, each week, seems like it's passing by faster and faster - it's like I'll blink and be 30, 35, 40 soon. Is this really where I want to be?

I've been trying to do things to involve myself in the community more - I teach a 3-hr English class on Sundays for adult immigrants. I get a lot of joy out of it.

Also, a lot of my savings has been going into a travel fund. Its balance right now could afford me a 3-month trip somewhere, but I'm saving for a yr-long. Sometimes at work, I daydream about taking a big risk - like leaving all this and teaching English in Korea or something, just something not office-like, but where I could still keep saving to reach my travel goal.

And then that returns to the "should I take the plunge?" "am I really better 'enough' to take such a risk?" That's the pesky thing about the rat race, this daily grind thing - there's safety in it somehow, even though we're really all at-will employees in this economy.

What to do, what to do - maybe I don't need to decide right away. I want to use a frame of 'what would I regret more?' I know I'm going to take the trip eventually - now it's figuring out the means to save for the trip!

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Depression or philosophical?