Thank you so much for your kind thoughts and support! As for the wedding... There were so many potential triggers (or should I say old triggers?)... travel, being with lots of people, staying in a hotel, boarding the pets, eating in public, having my picture taken, etc. etc. etc. Such a long list of fears!
The weekend went beautifully. No worries... no upset... in fact, my dh was pretty nervous about everything and I was so calm and relaxed, friendly, smiling the whole time. Naturally so... not forced! I actually enjoyed the whole thing. It was so smoothly done that I did not even have to think about strategy and backup plans or escape routes. I just did it. My older daughter was amazed 
This week (post-wedding) has been more of a challenge. Have settled into a mild depression. Before I would have panicked about that and taken myself deeper into it out of fear & self-loathing. But this time, I'm telling myself this is a normal reaction to a lot of changes. Kind of laying low and trying to just go with the flow... no judgments or panic. We shall see.
I did practice embracing uncertainty over the weekend... so many of the plans and activities were beyond my control or even knowledge. Embracing the uncertainty really worked during those times.... just let it go ... when asked what was happening next... I delightfully answered..."I don't know!" ... and I was totally ok with that.
Thank you Purple Blues for helping me find a new perspective. Another great tool for my toolbox! Love it! :o)
Members,
There are a number of CBT techniques that are commonly used to help people challenge worry including: thought records, thought stopping, worry time, challenging the value of worry, problem solving, experiments to increase intolerance of uncertainty and cognitive exposure. Let’s take a look at them one at a time:
Experiments to build tolerance of uncertainty: Uncertainty tends to increase our anxiety and anxiety tends to reduce our tolerance for uncertainty. People who worry a lot tend to be more anxious and less tolerant of uncertainty compared to people who do not worry. One way to think about this is that change and uncertainty is always a double-edged sword. In times of uncertainty there is always risk (threat) as well as opportunity (challenge). When faced with uncertainty, most people who worry a little can see both the risk (threat) in the situation as well as the opportunity (challenge). Unfortunately, people who worry see only the threat and no the opportunity. One way to challenge your intolerance of uncertainty is to always ask yourself “What is the risk or threat here?” but don’t forget to ask “What is the opportunity?”
Another way to challenge worry (the “What if…?”) is to try to increase your tolerance for uncertainty. This can be done either by conducting experiments to see what happens or using the exposure techniques that are described in the Panic Program. The first step is to figure out what behaviors you do to reduce your worry. For example, many people who worry need to do things the same way all of the time, do a lot of checking, or need to constantly ask for reassurance from family friends and doctors. One way to think about these behaviors is that when you do them, they reduce your anxiety for a little while but only until you have the same worry again. The trick is to challenge the behavior, experience the uncertainty and an increase in anxiety and then not do the same thing, or check or ask for reassurance and see what happens. You can get more information about how to do this kind of exposure in a gradual step-by-step way by using the Panic Program. (www.paniccenter.net)
Does this strategy work for you?
Samantha, Health Educator
