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Do I tell my boss?

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 125

What happened with your boss KC?

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

KC,

You bring up some good questions. However I would like to hear some member's positive stories when they told their boss and not nessesarily the horror stories. Horror stories tend to be a rare case and I wouldn't want anyone to make their choices based on others negative stories when I am sure there are even more positive stories.

In response to your questions, I am sure you know that you will have to answer these questions for yourself and consider what would be right for you. I encourage you to consider the questions I asked in the beginning of this thread to help you with this process.

I do want to throw something out there though, as I am getting an intuitive pull that tells me you don't like withholding information from anyone. Also, with knowing that you have a good relationship with your boss is it hard to not let her know what is going on? If so, what is hard about it. If not, what makes it ok with you?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 23

This is an interesting topic...I have been thinking about telling my boss as I feel my productivity has suffered greatly over the last months and especially last couple of weeks.

You guys that have told your boss - is there anyone here with just an absolute horror story about telling a boss? My boss is very cool and we have a great relationship...but it's one of those deals where it's just hard to decide for some reason...I think there are definitely some positives to telling her, because she'd be aware of what's going on and maybe would be more tolerant of anything...she has yet to complain to me or point anything out to me - but I'm afraid it will happen eventually....should I tell her now, or tell her if she comes to me and asks what's up?

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 456

hi,

I work for a Big company and there are days where I am happy I disclosed my disorder. Then there are days I want to run a straight line marathon out of here. Of course, no one who is not in a similar situation can understand. So there are days it will feel like I am doing everything possible to make things worse to my coleagues; stress makes my bipolarity worse.

As everywhere, different people react according to what their life experiences have made them. I have one person with a world of experience and they are my rock! even if they are 1000km away and we talk via e-mail. I have another who is more emotional and understands that I wear my heart on my sleave. But, I have to be careful of those times when my executive functions break-down and I wander around without focus ADD-like... I have been yelled at in the middle of the work-floor by this person and accused of doing "it" intentionally. Then there R the yung-uns in human resources who are just dumb

. They come out with hurtful phrases that with a bit of thought they would never say to the people with diabetes nor the ones with peptic-ulcers. But oups the one with bipolar disorder better be stable and depenable for this 9 month project !

My notion of disclosure is now something quite different than when I came out of my closet once upon a moon. I need to my my list of meds available incase a filing cabinet falls on me (they are not screwed to the walls here!). I need my husband to be able to get me if I am too caught up and am unable to drive (I can road-rage if you cross a solid traffic line or become immortal and not care for any traffic laws if hypomanic or panic and stop on the highway if depressed). I need someone who knows that time is a bit elastic with me (plus or minus 20 minutes). I do not mean to be late but sometimes I have to fight to take the meds -I feel fine and oups. right! I need meds anyways- So the next morning I get a late start and I am a a bit late. Or I am have a rough morning pushing the ox-cart; it is just too full of compost... so I fight with my head and body and the family (no, kids, chocolate cresents is not breakfast no matter what your father is having. You must eat something with protein and get to school in the next 25 minutes...).

So, tell all to everyone -NO. Need to know, yes. But, I wish I really had a good choice. Even those who live with a loved one are not always the best choice ... I think those who are willing to learn and work with you are as close to good-choice as any-one can hope!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 217

Hi Dan,

I'm just reading through this thread, I am glad you are feeling a bit better, how did things pan out? Did you make a move?

We are here for you, supporting you.

Strength

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3

Thank you, I feel a bit better already.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3

Very helpful, thank oyu very much.

DAn

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 223

Dan,

I can only talk from my own experience, but mine was positive. It depends, of course, on your employer and individual situation.

As soon as I was diagnosed with depression, I informed my manager. She had been concerned about my levels of absence and manner whilst at work, and was pleased to have something 'solid' to work with. Turns out that she had fairly recently suffered from depression, so empathised with me.

My employers are pretty good as regards employee health, and they immediately involved an occupational health nurse who recommended counselling. They paid for two blocks of private counselling, which I could not have afforded on my own, and have been generally supportive.

Don't forget that depression is a chronic illness like any other, and like any other health problem that may affect your work I think it is best to be open with your boss.

That's my experience, anyway.

Take care.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Dan,

This is a hard question because you need to decide what is best for you. One thing that jumped out at me is the words "suck it up" this sounds like a "should" statement which implies you are placing some judgement and blame on yourself. Remember that Depression and Anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of and when these issues arise in a persons life it is impossible and even unhealthy to just "suck it up." Where does the words "suck it up" come from for you?

To help you decide what is best for you maybe we can help by asking a few questions:

What is holding you back from telling your boss?

Ideally, how would you want this situation to turn out?

What would surviving this drama look like to you? How would surviving this drama affect you long term?

You may also want to look at the Resolving Disputes Auxiliary section in the program. This section will give you some great communication strategies to approach your boss with.

Please keep us updated!

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3

Hello,

My work has recently come under extra scrutiny and my new boss in "concerned."

Do I tell her that I have anxiety/depression, tell HR, or just suck it up and hope to survive this latest drama?

Thanks

Dan

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