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I find that communication is always made less tense when you can add humor. For me, it is imperative to ensure that all communications are positive and don't spiral downward for no good reason. My fav trick is to address it indirectly to first of all make the person aware, hopefully make them laugh, and therefore get a real answer. For example, in response to a grunt, I might say "Hey, Oscar! Are you grouchy today?!". Of course, that always works with my little nephews! How about: "Honey, I'll give you a gold star on your next report card if you speak in full sentences!" With a big smile and twinkle in your eye, that might work. I know it depends partly on how humor is already a part of your relationship.
Let me know what you come up with! I'm sure others will chime in with more suggestions.
I desperately try not to read minds. It is very difficult with my husband, because he expects that I can read his mind, for instance "next time your out shopping, can you pick me up some of the stuff that you bought 8 years ago that I liked?" I am serious, he will grunt and expect you to know what the grunt means, he will snort as though you can understand his "basic" language skills. It is very frustrating, even though I have told him several times, he still insists on this childish behaviour. Argh. Any hints from anyone that may have had the luxury of dealing with people like this.
Mind reading is what happens when you
assume that you know what another person is thinking and feeling. Mind
reading is often a problem in long-term relationships because after we
get to know another person really well, we can start to fool ourselves
into thinking that we know what they’re thinking and how they’re
feeling. Mind reading can become a big problem because when you mind
read you’re assuming that you know what another person is feeling and
thinking when you do not. As you can imagine, this can be a big problem
in depression because depressed people tend to see the worst in
situations and assume the worst from others.
When people feel that their needs are not being met in a relationship,
they start to assume that the other person is only looking after their
own needs and is generally unhappy in the relationship. If you’re mind
reading in this way it makes it hard to see any communication as being
positive because you can always imagine that the other person is only
trying to get what they want (try a Thought Record on that one!). Mind
reading is usually a mistake. An important part of being assertive is
being able to ask for clarification and feedback about what other people
are thinking and feeling, as well as what they want and need.
When in doubt about what somebody is thinking or feeling, ask! Mind reading is bad for your health!
When have you used mind reading? What was the result?
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