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11 years and counting

Timbo637

2024-10-31 6:49 AM

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Feels like hell week all over!!

Timbo637

2024-10-30 9:38 AM

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Roller Coaster Withdrawal

Timbo637

2024-10-14 12:28 PM

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Smile....and don't shoot the messenger

Timbo637

2024-09-27 3:17 PM

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Venting


15 years ago 0 271 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I apologize to anyone my posts may offend.
 
Furgittit
15 years ago 0 910 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello Furgitit.

Sounds like you have a ton on your plate! I just read your thread, phew! That is a lot to deal with. I was just wondering how you were today?
15 years ago 0 271 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Wildcat,
My OCD (which I fgured I had and joked about for many years) is mainly a control issue house has to be clean and everything in its place, plan the majority of things, don't touch me unless I know you, that is why I can't take public transit, strange people are always touching you.  As I age, I have found that I can let a few things go, but when things are way out of control I seem to spiral in to chaos and think that I cannot get out.  Strange as this sounds, I used to go to friends' and family homes and not be able to sit until the areas we were in were clean (I would clean them).  I am now able to go to friends' homes and sit on my hands.  I cannot do this at my mom's as her place is the worst place ever, so I just don't go there, because it is expected that I clean when I am there. 
I think this is crazy, but the Psychiatrist said that my plans and thoughts of the big "S" word, were part of the OCD and that is my coping mechanism for out of control situations, make the plan and put it away.  I am not sure, but hey, he has the degree, I don't.
As for the migraines, I have had them all my life as well, tried this, that and the other thing.  Well since I was 30 I found out alot of the pain killers I had been given could have and should have killed me (the heart conditions), so now I am limited to what I can take.  So T-4's and sleeping pills, a dark room and a million quilts is all I have left. 
Custody battle, it was more or less, you take the kids, I don't want the kids you take the kids, fine I'll take the kids, no you won't I'll take the kids, back and forth back and forth around and around.  Thankfully for my sister, (who is older than I am) she chooses not to remember anything, but me, I remember everything from seeing the slug fests between my parents when I was 3 years old up to the bull and doggy show of late (thankfully with my cocktail of medications, I cannot remember what I had for supper last night and if I don't write down appointments, I won't remember them, ah ignorant bliss).
I am on the Provincial Health Plan for people with low incomes and high medical needs, they don't cover the accupuncture, osteopaths, or other things.  I can't afford to pay out of pocket for these things either so I am kind of stuck as to alternatives.  If I work more, I make more money, I have less time to get family stuff done, go to doctors, therapists etc.  May not qualify for the Health Benefits, which I desparately need as my heart medications alone are around $200.00 per month, this doesn't include, pain killers for either myself or my husband, anti-depressants or sleep medications blah, blah, blah.  So catch 22.
To get it out, feels a little better, but it seems to be the same old same old, obssessing about the problem and not getting anything resolved.
15 years ago 0 456 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
hi furgittit.
 
if I may slip in a bit of humour... I think I am in excellent company.  I have some OCD that i worked with Phobie-zero for a few years to get in hand. 
 
You know that many, migraine suffers have gone through at least one bout of depression.  It is a difficult and painfull condition that is just as misunderstood by the population (take an Advil Migrain and get to work ) .  I started my bouts went I was 8 years old and stressed to the max with custody battles.  As a teen it snowballed and I was hooked to Furinol.  This is why I am seeking alternatives for my son, osteopath and accupuncture.
 
May i ask what is the center of you OCD?  Mine was mostly hoarding but therer was a lot of issues of personal hygene.
15 years ago 0 271 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Psychiatrist says I have OCD and my depression seems to be situational.  I need to learn other coping skills so that I can get beyond this.  He says my therapist is the best and that they will discuss my file every 2 weeks.  He says that I don't need to see him on a regular basis.
 
I will work with my therapist and see what happens from there.
15 years ago 0 1693 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
furgittit,
 
I am sure you are not alone in your struggles. Hopefully your appointment this afternoon will help shed a bit of light on how to manage your depressive thoughts.
Members, what helps you challenge your depressive thoughts? What works? How do you challenge them?
Stay strong furgittit,
 
Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator
15 years ago 0 271 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Sorry, I haven't checked on this in a while, I had a migraine for 4 days, sick kids and a sick husband and hid in my room under cover (so to speak) drugged up to the gills.
 
The quotes are uplifting and mean so much.
 
Just curious, I feel that sometimes (most of the time) I am consumed (obsessed) with my depressive thoughts.  Most often 85% of my waking time is obsessing about this.  Is this normal? I feel so awful thinking of myself all the time and I try to block out the thoughts, I try to divert my thoughts, I try various activities but everything leads back to this depression.  The breathing execises aren't working, I cannot get my thoughts to stop (maybe when I am drugged up with migraine meds), it goes around and around and around, even to think of a nice spot turns to sad events, and depressing thoughts.  I admit it doesn't make me cry as much but I want the thoughts to stop. 
 
I want to wake up and have a day where I am not scared that the next thing that happens will be negative, that the next thing I think of will not be negative, that I will not cry, that it is a good day and I will have more good days.
 
I am hanging in there, by a thread, but still I am hanging in there.
15 years ago 0 11226 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I like the and I would like to add a favorite of my own,
 
People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
-Elizabeth Kubler Ross
 
You all are showing your light within by trying to get through this difficult time.  You are all an inspiration.
 
Ashley
15 years ago 0 85 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hey there
 
Thought I'd send you a quote I found that makes me feel better:
 
"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in th world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."
 
We are stronger than we give oursleves credit for. Hang in there.
15 years ago 0 271 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks Wildcat,
Seems that we are two of a kind presenting the brave face to the rest of the world, while inside we are scared out of our wits.  I have always been the "little miss sunshine" for everyone else, when in actuality I know things are way different than I am telling everyone else.  I do believe that someday things will improve, and I will do my part to help it along, unfortunately when the awful days outweigh the good days it certainly makes things dificult.
As for Sunny today, not here, it is going to snow more, -30 with the windchill and the roads were terrible this morning and they don't look to be improving anytime soon.  I could handle this day better snuggled in bed with the blankets around my ears.  Alas, what we want is seldom what we get (probably not a good idea anyway seeing as one day could lead to 2 days and so on and so on).
 
Breanne, thanks for your post.  I kow that I will ge through this, not that I want to but more because I have to.  Too many people depend on me being there for them to not get through this.  That is my reasoning right now, right or wrong it is what is keeping me alive.
 
Well everyone have a good day and maybe the sun will come out tomorrow.

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