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14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

Fixit, I see you have THE job to return to that's been NOT done since you've been out. I think you should realize what a valuable asset you are as they depend on you to do that job. What a compliment. I also think that as you are familiar with the job you may be able to get a handle on things before you even get there and get overwhelmed. Plan your first day, your second, allow for change, you know somewhat of what will be waiting for you....start breaking it down now, so that it will be do-able and not so overwhelming. I know easier said than done and I have anxiety just thinking if someone told me I was going back to my counseling position. But I do think knowing is going to help you if you let it.

Feedback????

it's nice to meet you too, fixit, I'm looking forward to sharing posts, reading and responding as appropriate (lol, or when I'm so overwhelmingly opinionated). :)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi Goofy,and nice to meet you. A lot of my having a recurrence is somewhat do to my job and extra duties that I have now. The stress is pretty large in my eyes. Someone else may think it's nothing. When I go back,( and it's going to have to be sometime next week) I'm just afraid it is going to be overwhelming. No one has been doing my job for the month that I've been off so it's pretty safe to say there's going to be a lot backed up. Walk in the door knowing there's going to major work to catch up on is going to be very difficult I fear. I've got another 7 or 8 days to try and get it under control. All I can do is try!

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

fixit, I didn't meant to ignore you, had something I wanted to say, but didn't include it in the previous post to Deb.

I can so relate to that stagnating fear of not being able to handle work. When I did return to work, I worked two days a week, then three days but not more than two in a row, then 4 days, not more than two in a role. I guess it was a step process. It occurred over time. You may be like me and not ready to go back to the same type of work. You may be ready to just volunteer a few hours a week and see howthat goes. And as this program indicates, we have to challenge those negative beliefs.....and that's a tough one.....because it's driven by a seemingly realistic fear. However, you can take baby steps and over come that fear step by step, gradually increasing your work.

ah, I've been gone due to some health issues, but I'm back with a vengeance it seems. I am full of opinions and I hope it helps. As I've been gone I may have missed something pertinent in your situation, so please let me know what you think

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

deb, I had a wise person telll me something about relationships. It goes along with what AShley was saying. If you have that discussion she refers to, and you let your needs be known and he doesn't meet those needs, then there's a problem. If you never tell him, he can't read your mind, know how you feel, etc. Sometimes we expect others to know what we are thinking in relationships and just automatically do things or continue to do things when we get "comfortable".

Congrats on the two jobs. I do relate to overextending at the sacrafice of self. I do know that sense of self-worth we get from doing for others. However, I also know, again - as Ashley said, that we have to take care of ourselves first. It is important that you put you first. I like to say without YOU there is nothing else. I think it is imperative that we prioritize and we have to come at the top of the list.....If there's not a #1, then you have no #2. Make any sense? The other thing I'd refer you to, which is so simplistic, I don't mean to insult. But think about Maslow's hierarchy of needs. We have to have those basic needs met first and then we can progress. Okay give me some feedback. And let us kow how things are going.....

One question are these Board of Directors positions paid or volunteer, an addendum to your job or requirement of your job?

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi, I'd like to get back to work. I'm afraid that all the confusion will come back and send me right back to where I was. I know this is probably an irrational feeling. I just need to change my thinking and get started. Harder than I thought it would be.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Deb,

Thank you for taking the time to post this. Congratulations on the promotion! I would congratulate you on all your other achievements you mentioned but I am not clear on how you feel about these new responsibilities. I know you are such a giving person Deb but remember you need to give to yourself before you can give to others. I know you know that, but knowing and doing are two different things. How does this new position and new board of directors positions fufill you?

I am sure many of us here can understand the situation you have with your boyfriend. It is hard when relationships change. A wise person told me relationships are always about change and maintenence. If you feel that the relationship is changing and you don't like this, talk to him about it in a non confrontational way. I know it sounds like common sense but when life gets busy it is easy to forget. Also, ask yourself what is important for you in a relationship, what do you need to feel fufilled?

You mentioned you do not feel right. How do you feel different when you do feel right? How are you beign different and what are you doing different?

Thinking of you Deb.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 102

I don't know where to post this letter. I finally decided here would be best.

I am sitting here needing to say so much, and I'm locked up. I know my letter will be timed out if I sit here too long. I wish that feature wasn't here.

Anyway. Will try and write. I got the great promotion at work, and I've been thrown in a new catagory that is intimidating and exciting at the same time. I accepted two board of directors positions this week that is all about community service, and I am still dealing with depression and being a single mom at the same time.

I am up to my old habits of doing too much. I haven't been able to post because I've been so busy..... I've traveled over 1,000 miles in three days by car.

I haven't been taking care of myself at all. I'm tired.

Totally different topic: My boyfriend has been looking for a house for us to move in together. As we grow closer, the more he seems to be taking me for granted. Little things are slipping away (girls, you know what I'm talking about!). No more opening doors for me, suddenly he wants to split the bill for lunch...... he wants me to pay the bulk of the rent on a new place for us :) To his credit, he has taken very good care of me financially even though I make good money.... so what the ???????? There's more to it but basically he's told me that he will forever and for always be gone every weekend at his ranch hunting. I could be okay with that if he weren't pulling away affection-wise.

Not a dumb bunny. Just a sad bunny.

My eldest son's health is getting worse. We still don't know what's going on.

I need to do step 4 of the program. I need something to hold on to. I don't mind being alone (as in ex-ing the boyfriend), I love my job, I love my 2 kids..... but I still feel not right.

Need to sign off and make lunch for little guy for the morning. I would really appreciate input from anyone who reads.

Deb

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