Well, I had a weekend outing planned with a group of friends, a large group - 15-20. I packed on Thursday, cooked the food I was supposed to take; the whole time telling myself I did not want to go. I was teary, anxious and dreading though knowing I'd have fun. I talked to myself along with my Garmin all the way there - saying you will not turn around, you will not turn around. I just knew my Garmin was going to say make a U-turn! I met my friends and of course had fun. I was a little teary at times, very anxious to anxious at other times but hey, they are friends, some of them can relate, others can't but those who can't loved me anyway. I'm so glad I went, knew that in the back of my mind as I was saying I wanted to turn around - that I would be glad I went if I could just get there. I've named my Garmin "Gary" and he was not cooperative and for this I am thankful.
I guess the moral to this story is if you plan to do something - do it; don't let yourself talk you out of it; more than likely you would think it a good time or you wouldn't have agreed to it in the first place! The tears, the anxiety, the ups and downs, a part of my life these days and I'm rolled with them on my trip to meet my friends at a lovely state park with a cabin back in the trees. I hada great time and what if I had listened to me. I needed my space at times and I found it; I needed hugs at time and they were readily available, I needed laughs and they were abundant!
Am I any less anxious or depressed? No, but I'm proud of myself for going and rolling with what I'm dealing with right now. I am glad I got to see my friends and get away.
I have another weekend planned at the end of this month with another group of friends (totally different - what a blessing to have so many, huh?) there are 12 women going to a nearby city to have a good time. We went to high school together, some I've not seen since then. I've made reservations and I'm having reservations but I'm going and Gary is gonna see me through (lol, he won't tell me to make a u-turn). I won't let myself turn back now, I'll just roll with what this mental illness deals me that weekend and make the best of it!
I questioned when I titled this success story - but as I type it, I know it was!
thanks for sharing my success and if you don't have a Garmin or one of those other brands like that then get one, they won't let you make u-turns once you've decided to do something! lol