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15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4

Thank you everyone for your replies. My family in Europe knows about my depression, but they have no idea how severe it isbecause I have lived in the States for over 10 years. I'm hoping I will feel better once I get there.

It is great to be in a place where I am not being treated like an attention-seeking child. It's amazing how ever the people who love you the most can't see the pain this illness can cause - it's good to know there are others like me out there. Thank you for your support!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

Satu, my MDD (major depression) caused me to drop out of a doctoral program as well. I was also having relationship issues and going through a rough time work (another story with a verbally abusive boss). I know this is a difficult time, we have a tendency to beat ourself up; grieve for the person that we used to be; want all the answers now and to fix things.

These things will happen but not on our time. It is as Ashley said, we can relate, we do understand, some will relate more than others.

I can vouch for the program as it has helped me tremendously. I understand as Maslow's hierarchy of needs indicate; we have to have our basic needs met before we can fully focus on other things. However, it seems ,you are left with no choice. Remember this program will help if you can focus on it. Check out the auxilary sessions on grief andthe one on relationships. This might help you right now.

We will be here for you, listen, and understand. Please keep posting, venting, whatever you need to do!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 32

Hi Satu,

Does your family in Europe know what is going on?

When my depression was at it's worst I tried to talk to my family every day. It can really help to check in and feel connected to them. Having someone to talk to really, really helps.

Please keep sharing with us. We've all been there and we know what it's like. There is no judgement here.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Satu,

You have come to the right place. I want you to understand something and I want you to really beleive it. This depression is not you. You are not a horrible, miserable monster. You are none of those things. You have depression. You have an illiness. This is not your fault.

You can take steps to make this better. You can turn this around. I know this is an incredibly hard time for you but you need to stay strong. You can get through this.

You did a very good thing talking to her about how you feel. Unfortunately, some people do not understand mental illiness. But you are not alone in this. We understand and we will be here for you. If you can give people in your life information on Depression that may help. Even have them talk to your doctor so they have some information on what you are going through. Even if they do not understand try to accept this. What you need to focus on right now is getting better. Have you talked to your doctor about possible options and resources in your area?

One great resource you have access right now is this program. It will take you through a cognitive behaviour therapy program that does work. If you put the work into it, it will help.

You also mentioned that you have anxiety. Another program we have may help you address this as well www.paniccenter.net.

Start reading through the program and post often. We are always here listening.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4

That sounded awful. Like a rich kid complaining about not having something expensive. The reality is that I'm living in a run-down trailer with ex-convicts, living out of trash bags because I have no place for my clothes (the last thing I still own). Severe job anxiety and depression keep me from finishing my degree, in fact I haven't even told work where I am in the last 3 months. I can't face them at all. I don't know what to do, I'm desperately seeking for some place where someone understand that depression doesn't make me a selfish person, a horrible person, a monster, etc. I can't take it anymore.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4

My whole life has fallen apart. Due to Major Depression, I had to drop out of a Ph.D. program and waste years of school. I'm losing my partner as we speak - she keeps telling me what a 'horrible, miserable person' I am, and how 'I just want to make everyone around me unhappy'. I finally tried to tell her how she makes me feel, and now she's not speaking to me. The sad thing is is that I'm living with her family to save money; I can't work, have no money, and we were supposed to move to Europe to my family together in a month or so. But I guess now I'll just try to get myself back home, alone.

She was the last thing I had to live for. I've lost everything. Please help me find something. Anything.

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