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Diva's Independance Day!

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Diva's Independance Day!

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hello Luciana,

Yes, I am doing better and The month of January was good to me. With the miscarriage December really was bad. But January was really good to me. As for my 10th wedding anniversary, I can't believe how fast it went! And yes, we are still very much in love. I am very happy and grateful about that.

As for being more honest with myself it is quite freeing. I find it has been helpful in making me feel like there is less weight on my shoulders. As for writing the ooks, I have a feeling it will be good too! Thank you very much for the support! As for when I plan to start writting, well I laid it out in my answer to Goofy :) It should be soon!

Will keep you posted on how that is going!

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Thank you for the congratulations Goofy! The marriage wasn't always easy and we had our share of ups and downs. And marriage is hard work lol. But we are ultimately good for each other in an odd way. He is a wonderful husband and I love him.

I took time to think about your question. Is it necessary to tell my friends my sexual orientation especially since it has no bearing on our relationship since well they are friends and I am happily married...Is it relevant...

Part of me, the logical part says: No! It isn't relevant and they do not need to know. It changes nothing one way or another...

But the other part of me says: " I am tired of hiding. I am tired of being in relationships with people who don't really know the whole of who I am. How do I feel loved and appreciated when I am hiding large parts of myself to conform to someone elses expectations of me?..."

So, I don't know... I don't klnow maybe I goofed by telling her. Maybe I shouldn't have told her. Maybe I shouldn't put this much importance into this...I guess I just want to live freely and truthfully without needing to mold myself or hide part of myself....Does that make any sense?

And as you said, maybe my friend will come back around. Who knows! Only time will tell. If she needs time and space to deal with this and process this, it is only normal lol And I certainely would not begrudge her that! I hope she does come around. So as you said, I am giving her time. The ball is in her court and Iwill just see what happens! It really is the best thing I can do! So thanks for the advice!

As for book writing, well I don't know if it is a talent of mine lol. I am pretty good at telling stories but I haven't written any yet lol. I am goof at writing essays and reports and scientific journals... Dry stuff. But as for creative writing... But who knows. I have outlines, I have ideas...And I love telling stories. So we will see what happens! But I must admit I am very excited at this idea! Writing books! I feel very excited and hopeful.

As for when I am gonna start the first book, well, I will write out the outline for the fourth book of the quartet, then start writting. So it should be soon! Oddly enough though, I started writting a book yesterday. I got the idea for the start and started writting. I have no idea where that story is leading as I have no outlines lol. But I will see! So I may be working on two seperate projects for a while until I figure out which one needs or wants to get done first! But I think both will eventually get finished. Both appeal to me.

As for giving you my real name for my first book signing! Absolutely you can count on it, I would love to share this with you one day :)

And yes, I am hanging in there. I am still tired but I am oddly content with my life as it is, despite everything :) I still I am feeling inspired and hopeful with the new more creative direction of my life! Thank you for your support Goofy!

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

Diva, Congratulations on your marriage - I'm impressed, I can't seem to make it passed short term ones. lol, probably because I'm stubborn and independent, but I like me that way.

I'm glad that you are acknowledging who you really are. I think it is important that the people we are closest to know who we really are (husband, mom, dad). I'm not questioning what you did when you told your friend that you are bi-sexual. I am expressing an opinion (you know I do that and it's just that an opinion) People who have same sex preference, opposite sex preference or combination there of, is totally irrelevant to a friendship relationship in my opinion. I don't go around telling others my sexual preferences and I really don't care what theirs are. Now obviously we are open-minded about sexual preferences but not everyone is open-minded.

My question to you re: that issue, is it necessary to the relationship for them to know your sexual preferences. I know there's girl talk and all that stuff, but as you've indicated you are happily, faithfully married. Is it relevant to the relationship?

I'm not saying you did wrong - just giving you something to think about and consider for the future.

I am excited about learning a new creative talent of yours book writing. Will you please divulge your real name for your first book signing. I have faith that you'll succeed in what you choose to do. I'm curious too, as you have outlines, when are you going to start the new book?????

Another thing, your friend may come back around, she may just need time to adjust to the new information. If she needs the space, my opinion again, give it to her. Leave the ball in her court, in other words, let her make the next move.

Okay, I'd say I'm opinioned out, but that would be an untruth. So I'll just say I'm hushing for now.

Hang in there Diva. I am curious as to your thoughts on my opinion(s).

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 224

Hi Diva and welcome back!

I'm glad to see that you are doing better and had good holiday break. Also congrats on the 10 year anniversary! That is amazing, it's nice to hear when people are still so in love and doing well even after many years of being together.

And good for you for being more honest with yourself and who you really are and what you want to pursue in life. It's great to have ideas (writing the quartet of fantasy books) and I believe that making this idea / dream come true will be really good for you as an individual, it'll increase your self-esteem and furthermore show you that you are capable of more than just 'academics' you are capable of being creative! So good luck on that adventure, I'm supporting you 100%, I can't wait to see how they do turn out. When do you plan on starting to write the first one?

Luciana, Bilingual Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Ok I have had a weird month. I vented in the other thread so I will try to keep to the good stuff in this one.

Me and my husband have been doing really well. We had our 10th wedding anniversary! 10 years! Time sure flies! It went really well. I love him so much! He is very good to me. And I even managed to pull off a surprise supper for him! I was so happy with myself. And he loved it!

On top of it I got spoiled rotten over the holidays. I have new paint and drawing supplies. a new sassy looking coat and new go-go boots! I have pretty clothes and notepads ( I love note pads) and well you get the point. I was spoiled!

My hormonal balance and my system seem to be getting back in order quickly after the miscarriage so that is good.

I told my mom, my husband, my brother and one of my best guy friends that I am bisexual. All of them were very open-minded about it and barely blinked an eye at it! So that was really freeing. It was nice not to hide anymore. I mean in actuality, it changes nothing I am married and faithful and my husband is the love of my life. But at least now I am truthful to myself!

Mostly I am 99.99% sure I am not going back to school. I even told my parents about it! It went remarkably well! I want to be an author. I have already written the outline to 3 books. I have the outline for a fourth all ready in my head. Just need to put it down. Then I will write my quartet of fantasy books! Cool or what! It is a big risk for me. I find this new direction in my life super scary! I mean who says I have talent? Who says anyone will like what I write? Who says I have anything interesting to say? Sometimes I think I must of hit my head! This is insane. But it makes me feel hopeful and excited! I will finally be doing something creative. Something I like and that I can do at my own pace!

So anyway, that is me continuing my journey towards my Independance!

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

You will get back there, I have the utmost confidence in you. Take your time and remember how good it felt to play and sing and draw and be the creative person that you are.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Aww thanks guys! I am glad you like it! I worked really hard on it! I am finding out I really do love drawing. I love singing at the piano too. I was actually doing much much better before the miscarriage...I figure I will get back there :)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

Diva, I like it; is beautiful. I am totally impressed with your artistic talent and know that you've recently started doing more of something you love - drawing. You definitely have talent and should not hide it or not use that talent.

I want to play Freud here; but will refrain.

Know you are in my thoughts!