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14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 121

Lance: I'm sorry you're so down right now and can't seem to even see out of the hole. I have found that the bad thoughts and depression stay with me longer and make more of an impact on me that good things that happen or happy thoughts. I don't know why, but it has always seemed that way. You might be making progress but can't see it because of focusing on the depression and the way it makes you feel. When you become aware of something good or a nice feeling, try to focus on it and visualize the way it makes you feel. It will become a "memory" if you hold onto to it for a while and you can return to that place and feeling if you need to. These can be little things, Lance, for instance the sun shining, a green light when you're driving, kids laughing and fooling around at the mall, etc. You pick out the things that make you smile or feel good. Please hang in there and keep us all posted. We care and want to see you break out of this gridlock you're in.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 199

Lance,

I am hearing and feeling your pain. I do know what you are going through. It is painful for me to think or talk about my losses

I lost my husband 6 yrs ago now to Ptsd fromVietman and dementia. We were married for 27 yrs and I took care of him by myself for 5yrs years 24hrs a day here at home till he passed away. He was my best friend and my whole life. When he died I felt lost, alone, scared, was not able to do anything. I was used to taking care of him and felt I had nothing to live for.

I had to learn to starting taking care of myself again like,eat,sleep,drink, and shower. I was the only one here now except for God I felt he was with me. I went to grief groups for over a year. I bought myself some books on grief and read. I went for long walks sometimes for 2 hrs at a time. I started taking cancer drugs for liver disease, a gift from the Vietnam war, so that I could live and slowly but surely I started making my way back. I will always be haunted by that war and have some ptsd because of it. I don't know how to help you but to say never give up it takes time. You may want to get yourself a book on the stages of grief to help you understand what you are going through and help you deal with your losses. I am finally here now working this program and trying to learn how to deal with my depression and live a happy and productive life. I have to move forward off of this downward spiral into a upward spiral and learn to live and be happy again. I suggest you do the same.

I am here and listening even if it is painful and I can not always respond.

Sid

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11213

Lance, we are all here listening. I really hear all the pain you are going through now.

Furgittit, great advice. What did you do when you were feeling really terrible like Lance? How did you cope?

Members, please share also.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 271

Lance,

Baby steps, start out with 1. getting out of bed everyday, then work yourself up to the whole kit and caboodle. It takes time and we can't eat the whole cake at one sitting, we have to start out slowly and work our way up. It may seem long and hard and at times, you may want to give up. From what I am told, it is completely worth the fight. I am still fighting and I see the struggle you are going through and can empathize with you.

Please know that you are not alone in this fight but (I think hundreds on this website) are here for you. While we are clearly invisible and you cannot reach out and touch someone, with a hug or caress, we are still here for you and have the capacity and desire to listen and provide words of encouragement.

Remember small steps and lots of deep breathing.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 194

I come here because I have no one. My family isnt there anymore. I was doing better! I want to be up and out, doing things everyday. Have a good job, like I used to have. I dont understand why I cant make myself do the things I used to do! I was capable of so much! No one would belive some of the things I did in my job of 30 years.

Why am I stuck in my self like this, all I want to do is have the strenghth to move forward. Im in a prison in my mind lately and I dont know how to get out of it.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 271

Sorry, that was my little miss optimist showing through. Much easier to help out others than it is to help oneself.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 271

Hi Lance,

Let's twist this a bit, instead of all negative, let's look at one thing, you got out of bed today.

Now pick out the good things from the negatives, you may have gone nowhere this weekend, but you stayed home, warm and cosy.

You missed Chapel, but didn't have to venture out in the cold and listen to someone drone on and on.

Last night you laid awake and worried for 6 hours. Did you resolve any issues, or just get them out of your system?

Instead of giving up, you came here.

Burned out, we are all in that boat, some days are better than others. Someday, you will have a better than others day.

Fear everyday, means the minutes/seconds without fear are savoured and hate, well as strong a feeling as it is, hate proves that you have the capacity to love.

I would be very worried about you if you felt, blahhhhhhh all the time and couldn't describe what you were feeling and what was happening.

I am proud of you for coming here and sharing.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 194

I have been in this slump too long. I went nowhere this weekend, missed Chapel. Last night I layed awake and worried for 6 hours again and I just now got out of bed. I starting to feel I will never get back on track. Im scared, worried, feel hopeless etc. Im ready to just give up. I feel like im so burned out on life and cant get going. I live in fear everyday and I hate it.

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