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Rebuilding your self-esteem

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Thanks, Fallabe. I really appreciate your kind words and support.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 50

Pete,

I feel for you. I too have often felt no motivation, thinking I was worthless, feeling so guilty about hurting others. I even felt ashamed that I had to make myself think positively each day. I felt pathetic. Useless. This all made me feel that I wasn't capable of achieving anything, much less my big goals. I am very sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. It saddens me to a point because I understand what you are going through.

I wish I had some suggestions, but I am not always one to find the right words. I do hope you start feeling better or at least can find a way to gain some relief on some level for at least part of your symptoms.

All the best,

Fallabe12

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

I, too, struggle with being kind to myself. In point of fact, I am generally unkind to myself. Let's look at your points, Luciana, and see if we can find some pointers for escaping this maze I'm in.

I don't eat well - in fact, I enjoy not eating and deliberately forego food, as it gives me a feeling of achievement and control. I stay up to 2 o'clock every night and get about 4-5 hours sleep - I feel I need that 'alone time' when the rest of the family is in bed, but I do nothing valuable with it. Active? No.
I feel like I've lost the capacity for pleasure. Nothing is worth the effort, even things I used to love doing.
Congratulating myself for small accomplishments never rings true : it just makes me feel pathetic, though I try. Can't remember what a big accomplishment felt like.
I can't with any sincerity remind myself that I'm great, because I feel deeply that I'm not. It would feel like a ridiculous, empty gesture.
I'm dogged by lack of achievement. Not just lack of achievement, but lack of ambition, lack of planning, lack of even trying.

Hmmmm. So I ain't doing too great, am I? Trouble is, I really do know that I'm not deserving of treating myself well. I've let myself and those I love down by my torpor, passivity and timid fear. I feel morally bankrupt, degenerate and, as Fallabe said, think of myself as evil.

Oh, I make plans and promises to myself to nurture myself on my more positive days, but that's all. I seem to have lost the basic motivation and energy necessary.

Told you I was a grumpy one!

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 50

I appreciate this topic because I often struggle with being kind to myself. So often, I feel so guilty, and that leads me to thinking that I don't deserve kindness (whether from myself or others). I have been struggling with my self esteem for a long time. My whole life, actually. People around me seem to see something different that I have to been able to so and cannot see. I have always thought low of myself. I have even thought of myself as "evil" and meant for only bad things. I have worked hard on trying to raise my self esteem through the years.

Today, I am feeling very good and pretty confident, however, it is not always this way. I don't know how to keep it going. My problem is consistency. I have learned some coping techniques from various group leaders in meetings and such, but when I apply them, it only remains for a short amount of time (anywhere from a couple of days, to a couple of months). I usually can only maintain a good attitude for a day or two though. Some days I wake up completely depressed and do not desire to do anything. Other days, I wake up with a self-motivation that seems to come from nowhere automatically. It is on those days that I get the most done. I feel hyper and happy and feel able to achieve anything. Its very confusing and certainly a frustrating process. Any ideas? Also, I would be interested in hearing from other members who have similarly dealt with this. I'd love to hear your personal stories and get a point of view outside the realms of my own mind.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 224

Members,
Has an illness, addiction or other left your self-esteem in the gutter? In the weeks to come, we will be exploring various strategies to help rebuild your self-esteem:

Today's topic is about being kind to yourself.

Being kind to yourself is essential in rebuilding your self-esteem. This includes:

• Making sure you eat well, sleep enough and get active.
• Engaging in pleasurable activities
• Patting yourself on the back for ALL accomplishments, big or small!
• Remind yourself how great you really are! You have lots of strengths! And the weaknesses you’re not so crazy about, you can work on and grow into an even better version of yourself!
• Tell yourself it’s OKAY if you don’t achieve everything you had set out to do, big or small. Plans life and other need constant revision and remember you may have been put on a different path you can’t see yet.

What does this all have to do with self-esteem you might ask? Everything! If you don’t believe you deserve the basics and learn to start loving yourself, it makes it harder for others to do the same.

It is not selfish, it is self-nurturing!

What are some ways that you are kind to yourself?

Luciana - Bilingual Health Educator

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