Hi There:
I went d/t yesterday and I had 3 phone calls from the family. I
now have to tell them where I go every day, and I don't think
that is fair. They also say that I have NO rights to privacy
on my own life and it is an open book, which I do not agree with.
I sent an email "I am going d/t, is that okay, what are you doing?
as privacy is a 2 way street.
My sister didn't like that I raised my voice, I have bipolar,
and don't know what is happening to my body. She called
my brother and he ragefully gave me the riot act. B/C I
am unstable in their eyes, I have to check in. This is so
humiliating, I feel like a dog with a bracelet on her ankle
and a prisoner.
I just wish that someone can explain to them, that having
depression is not to be ashamed of. When my student's
were asking about me, she lied. She said I am on heavy
drugs, can't drive, and she is taking care of me, b/c I am an
invalid. Truth is I went to her daughter's vb tourn on
the wknd....how dare she....she doesn't know what it
feels for me, or they don't care .
All she needed to say, the story I am sticking with is
"X overdid it and she needs a rest b/c of her fibro.
It was the truth. When I was terse with my sister, i
just read this card and i felt emotion. However, she
doesn't get it, that people do care about me, and
that I am loved unconditionally.
I now have to put on that "false face" everytime I see
them, b/c I am NOT allowed to express my feelings.
or that means I am sick again, and need looking after.
I am very strong, and despite their ignorance, I went d/t and
walked about 3km for the last 2 days. I also made my own
alternatives to indiv therapy, that I wished the agency eased
me in. I have my name on 4 waiting lists for counseling, which
will take 2-8 mths wait. Tomorrow I am going to our local
mental health office, and I have been to mood disorders.
I am so ANGRY that people don't do this for me, that I
have to fend for myself just like always. Also I don't know
why people use me as a victim to torment. That agency will
not admit that they could have done things differently. The
unfortunate part, it was a person's life they messed with.
UNACCEPTABLE!!!!!
I have my own recovery plan, I created in 3 days. It has all
the numbers I need, and names of websites that help people
get back to work, after a mental health crisis. I actually found
videos, on how others experienced going back to work. My
shrink/gp & work do NOT judge me, but my family has now
decided I need to be looked after.
I also explained why I need couseling ASAP according to
my situation. I sent it to my shrink, and he said good &
thorough work. My strength is my tenacity and I don't
quit, however it is very tiring. I am on another rollercoaster
but I have hope b/c I see my shrink next Thursday. I saw
him on the street yesterday, and I am so disconnected I
didn't realize it was him. I am in such a fog, and feel unreal.
My students(thru my sis
