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Do I deserve help?

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11213

That is discouraging matman

But two other counselors sounds promising! You will have to tell us what happens with that.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 30

Thanks for the support everybody. Goofy, great to hear that you're having success in battling your depression. Although I am not doing a session right now, words like yours and other people on this site give me hope that I can eventually come out of this and return to the person I was.

Unfortunately, I got a phone call today that the therepist I was originally going to be set up with no longer works for Lifeworks and so she won't call me back. arggg. But, there's two pthers that may help me, just have to drive a bit farther to see them. It'll be well worth the drive though. I am hoping that one of them will call me back in the next couple of days.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11213

Goofy,

Nice to see you back. It's nice to hear that you are doing so well. It must be very empowering to see the progress you made.

Keep posting!

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

mattman, I've not been here in a while so I've just started back and am replying to your post. I am so glad to see new faces here from when I was here before. I think the first step is identifying that there is a problem and that is sometimes hard to see. I think you've made the right decision in seeking help and don't think anyone will minimize your concerns. If you are there, they are going to work with you to identify what is going on with you and things you can do.

I guess I should add that I've not been here in a while because the CBT, in addition to meds, therapy, and exercise, helped me to feel like getting out of the house - a huge step for me. I've worked a big portion - very slowly - of the session in this program. I found I needed more time for each session, and as you know, you can take it at your own pace. My therapist was interested in my progress on here and used it to augment my therapy. He is not trained in CBT but is familiar with the approach to therapy. I also found it important to do all the documentation (homework) they suggested as well as keep the daily log - though not perfect, I did attempt to do so regularly. You'll see me back, not because I've had a setback, but I'm ready to move on through the session.

I look forward to reading more posts from you and hope you find this program as helpful as I have and also have much success with your therapist as well.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 955

matman,

Glad to hear that you are setting up some appointments for yourself. As you mentioned, your first session can be pretty anxiety-provoking but please know that the counsellors are trained professionals who will be able to help you feel comfortable during your first meeting. Please don't forget that your experiences are important and if you are willing to seek the help of others, then your journey is serious and your therapist will also feel like your case is important.

Perhaps in your first session, the therapist may also be able to offer you suggestions on how to approach these topics with your mom (if this is something you would like to approach with her).

It can sometimes be difficult to change our thought processes because they are often habits which we think about without even noticing. However, you have been able to identify that these thoughts are automatic for you and this is incredibly important in your own journey. As you begin to work through the program, you will start to learn about how to challenge your own negative thoughts and what questions you can ask yourself to come to a more positive conclusion.

Stay close to the boards and let us know how you are doing. We will always try to respond as quickly as possible!

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 30

Thanks Breanne,

I just got off the phone with Lifeworks people. One of the problems is that where I live there aren't too many counsellors or phsycologists availiable, especially at the times that I am availiable. There's two people that can help where I am, but the woman from lifeworks that I talked to is going to try to set me up with someone who works on week-ends.

Although my mom suggested that I see somebody, I still don't want her to know that I've actaually made the step and I feel pretty nervous about the whole thing, which I am sure everybody does with thier first session face-to-face. Is this woman going to say that I don't need her help, my case isn't "Serious enough" I am wasting her time that could be devoted to someone more in need, which I probably am because I am sure these people will allways have someone fill thier each and every time slot.

At least I made the step, I've been feeling this way for a long time and looking back on much of my life, I've typically been a person who has had low confidence and not much self-esteem, but I've allways tried to cover it up. And I am allways thinking about how people want to tear me up. I've tried to "snap out of it", but of course I can't do that because this way of thinking has been so ingrained into me and it's not just the mood of the day or even the week.

I didn't want to go to my family doctor because for one, I still don't have a doctor where I live now and the doc I have to go to is in the town I used to live in, which is a bit of a drive for me, and second I saw my doctor before and he made me feel stupid. He told me to quit my job because it's in an isolating place, well I can't do that and my job is the one constant thing in my life, besides my parents, that I have.

Well, thanks for the help and I appologize for getting whinning about people not replying to me right way. I know people have much bigger problems than my own.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

matman,

I am so sorry that we did not get back to you sooner.

There is absolutely no reason to feel embarrassed or ashamed. You should feel proud of yourself for taking the steps towards becoming a happier and healthier you. It is a great idea to call the ceridian number, and you could also go to your family doctor and get a referral. You could also seek out a counselor or therapist on your own (not too sure what area you are from in Ontario but if you do a quick internet search you can find lots of resources, organizations or private therapists). It sounds like you are motivated and determined to change your life. You can do this!

Stay strong, and please keep us posted on how you are doing,

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 30

I guess nobody wants to reply to my post. Anyway, I am going to call a 1-877 number I got off the Ceridian Lifeworks website when I get home from work tonight. As embarrassed and ashamed to do it, I am going for it because I can't keep living the way I am. I have eveey reason to be happy with my life, but I can't find it within myself to be happy. I am calling the number, but it not because anybody who replied to my post helped me out with it.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 30

Hey everybody,

Maybe I didn't post this in the right area. I am from Ontario, Canada. I know the resources for mental health are different by country/ province and state.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 30

Hey all.

I haven't posted in here for a while. Actually, I haven't even been doing the sessions on here for a while because I felt busy, but I've also felt like I was getting better and at one point, I felt like I didn't need this site anymore. I also feel like I don't have the attention span right now to do the sessions and when I get home from work, I just feel mentally drained. I still felt depressed when alone or around my parents, but I was doing the things to help me through it, like forcing myself to get out on my bike and just enjoying it. When I am around people or someone that I hardly know, I don't act like a depressed person, actually I am quite a normal functioning person.

But, right now the feeling are back. I went home to my parents a few week-ends ago (I live about 1 hour and a half north from them). At diner, when my grandpa was over, I left early as I just couldn't stand myself anymore, and this week-end was a big blow up, my mom and I had an argument yesterday morning and I just left for home. When I left yesterday, I left my laundry at home still in the dryer so I had to drive back down there to get my laundry and I stayed for super anyway, as my mom told me to. I actually didn't feel like I should stay for super, as I just wanted to be alone. That was about 3 hours of driving and a half a tank of gas that I wasted.

My mom told me that I should seek some professional help for this depression or whatever it is that I am going through because all I do is mope around and sualk when I am my parents' place and truth is, I don't feel any better when I am alone. Mom and dad try to give me some "tough love" talk, but that only makes me feel worse, like I have no right to feel the way I do about life.

I am thinking of taking my mom up on her suggestion on getting some help because something has to work. However, I also feel like I don't deserve the help, that I don't deserve to feel the way I do. People have a lot bigger problems that me, I mean my aunt for example just lost her 53 year old husband to heart failure and he left behind a 20 year old son and a 24 year old daughter. Of course, that's only the tip of the iceberg. Myself, I am fit 25 year young guy who has his life ahead of him, got out of school, started my job, got my car and trying to buy a house but I need to take care of some other debts first. I just feel pretty lonely, as I said in previous posts, but it's my own fault.

I have a lot of anger about life right now. I would never hurt anybody, but I have temper tantrums sometimes where I just throw some stuff around, but I try to make sure it's not something of too much value. However, on the drive home last night, I picked up a cereal box while driving and threw it at the dash, but almost crashed the car in the gaurdrail at about 130km/hr. That freaks me out a bit.

I don't know where to start in asking for professional help, do I have to go to my family doctor and get a referral through him? or do I just go to a thearapist and then bill it through my healthplan at work? I am feeling embarssed and ashamed about seeing somebody about this and I don't know if I really need it or deserve it. But, should I choose to go the route, hoe do I get started?

Thx.

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