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Being normal, working and my lack there of...

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Being normal, working and my lack there of...

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Is it selfish of me to just want to be happy regardless of my job status and pay?

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

I have started talking to my therapist about this issue. It helped. I will continue thinking on this as I need to figure out how I feel and what I think.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hey WildCat,

What a great idea! I had been considering it. I figure if I am good in school why not work in the field. Great minds think alike. Also, it is a field in which I could work part-time. But I must admit, I still doubt my ability to cope with work. But it is a path I am considering. And yes, variety is important to me as well as flexibility!

I am always happy to get your wonderful insights as your post has confirmed my thoughts in a way! Thanks so much for the reply!

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 456

diva,

have you thought about remaining in the fields of teaching and studies... research/development, classes, tutoring, special-studies, adult-students, and so on... the guidance councellors at the orientation and job search offices will be able to give you some bright ideas!!!

I think it is not just the flexability but the varity that interests you. You are not stuck with one task all day every day... and that might help you to find a CAREER! that you can start at part-time like every-newbie on the market

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Yes, My doctorates will surely be a good experience even though it is bound to be a bit tiring and stressful. My previous university studies went really well. It did end up tiring me out and it was stressful at times but I got through it really well. I guess I will just have to take it one day at a time and see what happens. Rest and preparation now, school in spetember, work, much much later...

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 955

Diva,

Although your doctorate degree may seem challenging, this experience will surely be beneficial and a huge learning experience for you!

You mentioned in your post that you enjoy the challenges associated with studying. Keep this in mind on those days when your studies seem overwhelming.

Members, any other suggestions for Diva?

Keep us posted Diva and let us know if there is anything else we can do for you.

Sarah, Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

At the moment, I do not feel ready to work at all to be honest. Then in September I am going back to school full-time for my doctorates. I think it would be unreasonable to take on work on top of it. I think my doctorates will be a big enough goal. So I guess my doctorates is my next goal.

I just wonder sometimes if it is worth me doing all those expensive studies if I might not even manage to work after... But I do enjoy the challenge of studying and usually do well in school.

Anyway, I guess I just feel like a feckless moron when it comes to work.

But there it is, that is my situation at the present.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11215

Diva,

Take things one day at a time. Of course working full time will feel overwhelming now and it probably will seem that way for awhile. Perhaps set smaller goals for yourself instead. Try working part time at something you enjoy or volunteer a few hours a week and see how you feel. Constantly thinking about a seemingly unattainable goal can be discouraging. Focus on one goal at at time. Making small steps will increase your confidence. Who knows maybe eventually you will feel you are ready to work full time. Until then focus on you and your goals.

What do you think will be a good goal for you? Make sure it is achievable and it has set time frame!

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

If I am to be honest, I am not sure I can foresee a future in which I will be able to work a normal full-time job. I have been trying that for over a decade and have met failure after failure after failure. All it has done for me is made me feel like an outsider, a failure and a weirdo and lame and weak and not good.

I am not sure I want full-time work to be a goal of mine in the future. I am tired of banging my head against the wall. I am tired of the effect failing has on my life. But I feel that people around me expect me to have that as a future goal. They work, I should too... I also know that me not working full-time would be unfair for my poor hard-working husband. But as I said, I am tired of having goals where it feels like I am ultimately setting myself up for failure. At the same time, if I don't aim for full-time work in the long run, it makes me feel selfish and lazy... I am not sure what to do or think anymore.

School, I do well in school. But school is flexible in a way. And well, I can't study forever! It is way too expensive! I just don't know what to think or do about the work thing. It makes me feel so depressed to be so confused. I feel like a lame weirdo.

This too shall pass!

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hey WildCat,

Thanks so much for the reply!

You are right, school is a flexible and creative environment. And I tend to thrive there. Where as work, as you so aptly put it is "an entirely different structure" in which I do not do so well at all!

This makes me feel like such a failure and a moron and argh! But if I must be honest, it feels like the workplace does not fit for me, or I do not fit for it!

And there might be a cycle that needs exploring or a behavior or thought that needs changing. And yes, I may be cyclothymic but I am not sure. I have been told I have hypomanic tendencies... I need to speak to my doc and my therapist about all this for sure.

Thank you for helping me along in my thinking!

Hey Josie,

Well today, I am tired and hormonal but generally doing ok. I am planning to shower and maybe do a few errands and then visit with my mom and continue organizing my house.

I did not plan for my day as I usually don't plan my days in advance unless I am in school. I have started journaling on paper again today.

As for the program I need to get back to that. I really do. I will. The house is just taking up most of my time lately.

As for the house, it is slowly but painfully coming around. I have two rooms done.

And yes, step-by-step I will get there. I work with my doc and my therapist and family. As for making plans though, I just don't. If I make plans I feel anxious like I HAVE to do ALL that is written down and if I don't succeed I feel like a failure in the most complete sense of the word! lists of things that generally need to be done in the short medium and long term and I pick from there when I have energy to do something. but NO daily plans or weekly plans for me (unless I am in school and then it is necessary to stay on top of things)!

As for the job situation it feels like I have been working towards that goal for so long and I am sincerely tired of hitting my head on the wall. It makes me feel so lame. Sometimes I just want to give up... But that would be a cope out, no? At the moment, I don't even feel up to relief work. I still sleep like 12 hours a day and have to take naps! I don't feel ready to go back to work at all, I just know I feel as if I should be ready to... bleh!

Anyway, off I go to another topic, this one makes me feel lame and confused! Later guys.

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Being normal, working and my lack there of...