I know it is easier said than done. but accept the fact that this woman has an insensitive streak, expect it when you talk to her and don't be disappointed when you get what you expect. Also, there is nothing wrong with going places by yourself, eating by yourself or whatever. Whether you have friends or not. My grandmother (when I told her I dropped out of the doctoral program due to the depression) said what your mother-in-law said to your husband....I wish you'd made something of yourself. My response was - politely - I did and stated my accomplishments! Accept who she is and the fact that she is going to say those things and you'll probably not let her upset you as much! Give it a try!
Stardust glad to hear I'm not just being overly sensitive! How could she not know that she was rubbing salt in my wounds by saying something like that? I don't think she is a mean-spirited person, I honestly think she was just clueless. But it still really made me feel terrible when I had just been feeling a little bit up. Like here I am proud to be doing some things, but it was demolished by her because I was doing them *gasp* alone.
We live in a big city and get around by foot and on the bus and it's difficult for her to do prolonged walking with her bad knees. I do visit with her once a week, so...in general I consider her a friend/my family, but today...SHEESH! My husband said she will do the same thing to him though, he'll be feeling upbeat and out of nowhere she'll say, "My poor son, never had a break in life..." It's like, WHAT?
And the thing is, I had friends. But they were fellow Americans and no one ever stays in this country for long. Another cycle of foreigners have gone and I have to start all over from scratch but I just haven't had the energy to get out and meet new people. :-/
Wow I would have cried all day. What do bad knees have to do with being your friend and taking you for a coffee. Sigh. You could wear ear plugs when you phone her!!
Today started very well, I did some nice things for myself, got dressed up and had a few pleasant things planned to do (session 2 homework).
My mother-in-law phones. We often will just chitchat for a little while. So today we're talking and I tell her how I'm about to go out to do a few nice things and I tell her what they are. Her response? "Oh you poor thing having to do those things by yourself because you don't have any friends. Does it bother you that you don't have friends to do things with?"
WTF?
She said, "If only I didn't have bad knees I could go out with you, it's too bad..."
Like, I really think in a way she meant to be sympathetic, but in another way, it was humiliating and just totally ruined my mood!!!
How can I not let things that people say like that destroy my mood?
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Wow I would have cried all day. What do bad knees have to do with being your friend and taking you for a coffee. Sigh. You could wear ear plugs when you phone her!!
