I've been neglecting my web interactions. I'm feeling a bit down over the health situation (trouble with my stomach). I've been feeling overwhelmed at work. My therapist and I came up with a plan to have some time off from work. I would take off two days last week, had a psychiatrist appt. on Monday(off 3 hours), see him on Tuesday (off 1 hour, then lunch), work Wednesday, schedule medical appointments Thursday (off all day) and Friday work. I still worked 80 hours in the two weeks, though I did all those things! I can't seem to tackle this house and it's only getting worse, my son's been tied up with activities, work, and events and has not been able to help like he does lately. With his own family, I feel guilty needing his help. I did manage to go buy me a jacket for the fall (it doesn't get cold here until January and then it's not usually as cold as some of you define cold). I've come home from work and crashed twice this week. Meaning went to bed at 6 or 7 p.m. I just want to sit and do nothing - which I do well! I decided I was working the sessions too fast and as I printed out parts am going back and reviewing and starting the documentation over again - or at least that is the decision that I made. I want to get this right! I want to get this most from this and I have a tendency to get in a big hurry. Well, not with the house cleaning. I had someone want to come over and bring a NAMI walk donation and I told them I was leaving and ask if they would drop it in the mail (it's too embarassing to have someone see the house this way). With one person living here, it seems that I could clean as I go, pick up after myself. But I have a tendency to mess around, be in a hurry and then things get out of place very quickly. There are some minor repairs that need to be done - I have purchased the stuff to do them with, am quite capable of doing them, they are still sitting on the dining room table 2 months now! Sometimes I need to say no and can't muster the no, but I manage to just say no to any type of housework (except laundry every 2-3 weeks). I've tried many things to get organized - schedule a room a day, etc. But I don't follow up. Now ask me to come clean your house. lol, I'll be there - don't mind a bit; well, I do, but I won't say no! I look like one of those people on the TV shows with clutter and junk all around to the point cleaning is out of the question. Thanksgiving is coming up and I know I'll be the one to cook. We usually have a family get together in early December and noone can have it at their house this year that normally does it. I used to but that was pre-depression. If I could get it together by then I could have it here. The other option is dad's house, but I don't think he would want everyone there and besides it's her family and seeing everything where she left it 2.5 years ago, would kind of spoil the occasion. It is hard enough with her and others before and since her gone.
I guess I'm rambling, feeling overwhelmed, quite down and decisions to make! It makes it hard to want to come here and I hate unloading, but I don't want to dump this on my family (is that fair that I dump it on y'all?). All my words to others keep flowing through my mind, but their application is beyond my reach right now!
I need to go to my son's half-brother's wedding tonight, I missed a birthday party last night (sometimes there's too much fun stuff, not enough taking care of business). I seem to have got stuck on the fun stuff! geez, I'll quite here.
