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yet again!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

hi rose ...

as a teen I had a bit of acne, and my father the sensitive lump he was would say ... what you are removing your horns?

associations to the devil and evil and to my maternal grandmother. So today I still rip the nasty little bumps from my skin! Bad habit.

Goofy...

I do not take it as them snubbing me. I take it as the programme working, just not as fast for me. and I know that it is because depression is not a one time occurance for me. It is a symptom of me taking on too much work and dealing poorly with stress.

thanks. i appreciate the opportunities I have with you all who really know how much it hurts. And how we sometimes need the time to heal. not just jump into the positive. not pull up your pants. not all those other one-liners that make no sense!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

Wildcat, I know what you mean about lying to your self on the mood chart. And when it asks for the most depressed, I want to answer which most depressed hour are ya talking about? I also wonder if it isn't a lie to just put on a mask or facade which wil help me face the world at least temporarily. lol, yet it doesn't do that either.

I've noticed people come and go as well and I think that is the nature of groups like this as well as hopefully a reflection of progress they have made. I think we have to accept this and not personalize it. (after all, we can't tell someone to keep coming here, if they chose to move on, need to move or have improved enough to move on).

Hang in there Rose and Wildcat! The good part is knowing the good part will roll around again, unfortunately not at our timing - yet!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 142

hi again wildcat - i am in the same crummy mood - i've noticed also people don't stick around here and that bothers me, is that strange? it almost feels like a rejection. i have questioned borderline personality disorder myself. girl interrupted. do you cut or hurt yourself? that was the determining factor?!@# i think it's the situations that push the mood. i feel "misunderstood" as well.

"I am this hypersensitive water-works that frightens everyone!" - i couldn't have said it better.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 456

hi gang,

wow the site is something.

I was thinking ... some times I should not but it is a bad habit! The Psychiatrist had planted the seed that I might not be really bipolar but have a borderline personality disorder (alergy to rejection). The psychologist says the symptoms look the same but the expressions are very different and I am very bipo. still!

Also........ I do not know if I switch moods and I fit the situations into them ... or if the situations are what push my moods.

How can I tell? Right now I look at my mood charts and all the rest of the papers and I feel like I have been lying to myself! I have been filling these things to convince myself that everything is okay. That I am fine. But really I am crazy. I am always so.

When I am so sore and tired why does it seem like nothing else has ever existed? I seem to have forgotten what it was like to be normal/happy. I am this hypersensitive water-works that frightens everyone!

Why does it seem like the rest of the world slowly learns to move on and here I still am ... the gang here has changed twice since I signed on ... and yet I have not moved on more than a square or two. Am I particularly dense? or hopeless?

What a rotten week I am misunderstood by the far away office and then misunderstood my a closer coleague. Both go and WHINE to a boss and I get the the e-mail lectures!!! I am bored to the point of sleep. and no hope in site - worse the little bit of interesting stuff was taken away from me! I learn I am I clerk and the simpleton is an analyst.

And my husband sees nothing!

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