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i do not have any close friends. i guess i scare people. i am very closed and careful around new people. and i know that the those i have known for some time will betray me foe there profit at the drop of the hat. i am not that much of a friend.
as an aquantance, I small talk, i expect nothing and give what the occation demands. i can chatter and seem interesting. but i know sooner or later some flaw will give me away and people just move on.
Friendships and relationships definitely do take work. Good friends are sometimes hard to come by. It is great to have some support friends, and to be able to feel comfortable with friends.
Next time you are thinking about doing an activity, going to a movie, renting a movie, eating lunch or dinner, going out for coffee, share your experience with a friend!
I agree friends and/or relationships are like work. I isolate so therefore I avoid "new" relationships or exploring the possibility of new acquaintances. I also don't want people to know how I really feel inside. One former friend told me "you aren't who you say you are". I wanted to say "duh". If I was, you wouldn't be here- he wasn't there anyway! Part of me thinks the depression makes me selfish and people have to understand if I don't want to, I don't want to, but many take not accepting invitations as rejection. I don't mean it that way....it's I don't want to, don't feel like it, don't have the energy (you mean do something instead of sleep are you kidding me?) I think this is why I lost some friends/boyfriends. I think, well, were they really friends? Then I think yeah, but this **** depression...blah blah blah...ya'll can fill in the rest.
Sheba has a good point, it makes me think because it's not what I would have said. There is truth there and I can see that part of it now.
I would have said I don't get close to too many people because I have shame and don't want them to know how worthless I am. I have to hide the depression, hide my insecurity, hide, hide, hide. No one is allowed to get too close. I feel like those I have allowed to get close have betrayed me in some way. - And this is where Sheba's comment plays in - maybe I expect too much from these relationships. I do want someone to confide in, someone who "has my back". I am always disappointed. It's easier to have acquaintances than real friends.
I find myself as having very few friends also. I have two girlfriends that I see very little. I just know we are friends but I barely ever see them. I have one boy friend but he lives 8 hours away and we are both to poor fpr long distance calls. So we e-mail...
I do have my mom. Love my mom! And I have my husband. Love hom too but we fight a lot lol.
I am not sure why I have so few friends. I think Sheba might be on to something. I also find that I isolate myself a lot. I find with people I find the need to hide if I am not doing well and that is just exhausting. So I isolate myself. get along easily with epople and yet I still keep them away from "my inner self, my inner sanctum". I find this very complicated. I would love to have more friends. I just donèt know that I would know what to do with them. Do I have the energy for more friends?
Oh bleh! I am rambling lol. All this cause I wanted to say I also have few friends.
wow sheba good one! we ask too much of relationships- it's true, isn't it? i know i must, i'm easily disappointed, in myself and others. you can drive people away with too many questions, too great a need that they don't understand, or the tears. i think that's why so many people go to such great lengths to feel "a part of". religion, sex, even food, whatever- something to fill us and envelope us.
I think that depressed people often ask too much of a relationship. We want to have a "true friend" or a companion that understands all, is carring s.o. We don't like the grey things but look only for the bright ones.
i can relate! for one thing, it's hard work maintaining friendships. i either try too hard and put on my happy face (which doesn't last long enough usually) or avoid altogether. maybe you have to be calm and easy-going? i wish i knew.
well, it is a pattern I've noticed over time. I don't have but one girlfriend (she's awesome, but has a family), I'm single that hinders our interactions as she has other obligations (understood here). Otherwise, that's it. I seemed to have alienated everyone else.
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