working on your car was a great thing for him to do! i remember really fondly one time my husband was laying on the cardboard under my car in the driveway in the rain fixing something....don't remember what it was but appreciated him doing it. also, why not tell your daughters, they could be a help to you, no? like watch their little brother while you and your husband get away for a little while? you still haven't tried that have you? couldn't hurt.....
Thank you for your kind words Rose. I sort of needed them. I realize that I could go on without him and may have to. I really don't want to. I suppose I could change my mind at some point, it depends on how things go I guess.
He went with me to a friend's wedding today. She is a friend from work and so I didn't really know many people there. I think this was a good thing because it forced us to talk. I must admit that my pain is evident so it was difficult for me to be at a wedding with him. We got through it and talked some, even laughed a little. He told me that he's been having some health issues and we talked about them on the way home. When we got home he worked on my car which has needed attention.
I dare not hope that these things are meaningful. I am still sad, confused and in pain as whatever it is moves at a snail's pace.
Positives? Here's what I can think of Breanne: My husband has not left. I'm slowly getting used to my new position at work. I get out of work earlier now and this makes my son happy. We do homework together. The only pleasant thing I can think of right now is that I am going to my parent's house next weekend and will see my daughter, son-in-law and step-grandson, plus my niece and nephew. My son gets to see his cousins and step nephew (who's 12, so they think this is funny). While I look forward to this I also am concerned about my mood. Everyone here knows how hard it is to function properly and my daughters do not know I'm having problems. So, of course I have dread about it too.
Progress can take time, and sometimes that can be the hardest thing to accept about change.
Have you thoughts about any positives that you can focus on for the weekend? Perhaps you can write them down and keep them with you over the weekend. As a reminder, that balance can exist.
dear mom,
you really do have your hands full,don't you? allow yourself to play out the worst case scenario. if your husband leaves, you will still have your house, your job, your son and the rest of your life to look forward to. are you a grandma yet? something to look forward to. you will get child support. maybe you will actually be happier not bending over backwards all the time trying to please a man that does not deserve you. you don't need him. your love for him seems only to bring you down, love should lift
you up! did he not agree to go to marriage counseling with you? he owes that to you and your son. and himself. talk to him about sharing custody - ask him if that's something he really wants to do or wouldn't he rather work on perserving your family. i wish you peace right now. i've been where you're at. it ain't fun. but you will come out the other end, hopefully stronger and smarter and more relaxed than you've ever been.
mom of 3 i hve no words of wisdom just that you replyed to my post and it did help me alot you seem like a genuine caring loving person. just thought ide let you kno that i cared and supported you through this dark time
My son is 10. He likes computers and can navigate as well or better than most. He also likes his video games. He has ADHD which has the tendancy to have depression and anxiety associated with it. I know he suffers from anxiety already. There are many things about him that reminds me of me. He knows I have depression because I do not hide the fact from him. He understands it makes me sad sometimes but knows it's the depression and not him. I also try to let him know how much I love him and that even if I am angry with something he did it does not change that fact or make me think less of him.
To say I have concerns is an understatement. If his father leaves I don't know what I'll do, but not knowing what he will do is worse. I really never thought that he would need to endure this. He knows something is wrong, even though we try to keep it away from him. So in a way he's already being affected. This is yet another reason that I become desperate to see progress.
Sorry, I can't write any more now. I can feel myself nearing a meltdown and I need to stop.
Mom of 3, don't forget football and hockey this weekend. I don't know how old your son is, but when my son was young and I was trying to encourage him to read, we would see who could pick the most games right every Sunday. He eventually started reading the stats in the newspaper cause I would win every week. Then I started losing, he kept up with everything through the newspaper. Get him involved in your interests! We also picked the playoffs and the super bowl. And when I won, I always said (dancing of course) "your momma kicked your butt, your momma kicked your butt". lol, those were good times!
Hang in there Mom of 3! Let's crawl if we gotta, just keep moving, moving, moving!
I answered you in my thread and I hope you see it! I wanted to say I am here for you as you are here for me :) I totally know how it is to be afraid to expect too much! I think your idea of building on the positives is great and I will try to do the same. Hang in there, we can both do this! Please keep me posted!
I wish I had great wisdom for you but all I have is my support to offer! You are in my thoughts and prayers.
I agree, both Manning brothers are all that. Peyton's commercials make me laugh too. It is nice that they both have won Superbowls. I guess that's part of the reason I like the Giants. I also always liked Tikki Barber. I wish he still played, but know he's smart to retire with his health. Didn't like the Giants at all when Gifford was on MNF, but times change.
Nothing wrong with Farve either Josie. He's looking pretty good in NY as of last game played. Can't wait to see what he does after a bye week. He's actually on one of my fantasy rosters this year - so here's hoping!
Thanks for the diversion Goofy & Josie. It's nice to talk about something else every now and again.
The weekend is here and I don't know what to expect. Actually, I am afraid to have any expectations because I am afraid they will be too high. I will try to find positives where I can and build upon them. It is all I can do right now, but it's better than nothing and better than giving up. I am still not myself and feel very off, but I will keep struggling for balance anyway.
Thank you for your support, you have no idea just how much it means to me right now.
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