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16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 538

Hiya Goofy!

How did you weekend end up going?

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 142

wildcat - you're hilarious! that's good advice for anyone when they're stretched way toooooo thin.....

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

hi goofy,

just reading the list... i would choose the bed, a virus of choice, and lots of no.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1693

Goofy,

Sounds like you are booked up for the weekend! It is understandable that you have a difficult time saying no, but you are human, and can only do so much. Be sure to take some time for your needs this weekend. What do you need? (besides a little help with the chores...!!)

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi Goofy,

Which of those things on your list MUST be done? Meaning that the consequences of not doing them are greater than doing them. Make the "musts" first even if you don't want to do them. Of what is left, which ones do you want to do? How many do you have time to complete in light of what must be done? Do those and excuse yourself from those that you cannot complete. Not everything carries the same priorities, "musts" vs "wants" or the same amount of pleasure, "wants vs. "musts". When they overlap, like babysitting, it's a win-win but unfortunately that is not often the case. Using a priority system will help you out with your guilt over what you could not complete. There's also trade offs - You're cooking for Dad, maybe he could check on Grandmother. Two things are accomplished and you've gotten help with your To Do list.

Don't consider guilty feelings or manipulations on your feelings by those that asked for these things as consequences in this instance. You suffer from shame/blame issues - you'll have guilt over whatever you say no to - That is until you can effectively challenge that guilt. If someone will truly be hurt that you did not attend their party, then go to the party and do your chore another day. The consequence is that you have truly hurt them, if it would just be a disappointment then your chore may be the priority.

Looking at your list I get the feeling that the birthday parties are actually low priority on both "must" and "want" lists. Unless they were for someone I was really close to and I knew they'd be hurt by my inattendance I wouldn't tend to go. I'm pretty sure this has to do with my insecurity in some way, but another topic. I only bring it up because it would be a "clouding" factor in my ability to prioritize your list if it were mine.

Let me know what you decided to do, it must be right for you.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

I know I'm co-dependent. I have difficulty using that word NO. Everyone wants something this weekend. I haven't cooked for dad in a couple of weeks so he asked me to cook him a few specific things (nothing major, nothing big) but cook (ugh). My son needs a babysitter tonight ( a high light of my weekend), I have two birthday parties tomorrow afternoon within an hour of each other and 45 minutes apart. I may be sick tomorrow and cook. I also need (have had the flowers ready for over a week) to change the flowers at moma's grave (which means crying alot), which doesn't contribute well to being energetic to do these things. My grandmother's leg needs to be checked on. I need to do laundry and take care of a couple of household chores (which I've already mention) I don't do well and typing this makes me want to crawl back into bed. If I used "no" which one would I pick! Then how guilty would I feel.

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