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Caring Sister needs help


16 years ago 0 4 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thank you all for your responses. I know that this will be a long journey for him and hope that we'll get him back soon.  He is always on my mind. 
16 years ago 0 3045 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello Valerie,
 
I understand some of the pain you are going through.  My mother was one of the first 26week-premature babies to survive in the 1950's.  and she has some scars from that ... she is mentally retarded.  She will forever be a young adolecent so needs constant care and supervision.  As a child I knew she was different and do did those around me, so I was an easy target for them while I had to grow up quickly.  As a teen I rebelled and hated her and her "stories" and her imaginary world and search for pity.  I hated looking out and at looking after her.  I hated that I had a younger half-sister (8 years younger) and I had to look out for her.  I escaped when I could.  My parents were divorced when I was 1yr. because my father was abusif.
 
So growing up with my mother I never knew what was real and what was a colourful story to gain more attention.   I never knew what would happen so I kept her on a short leash when I had to take her ... to parent -teacher meetings ... to doctor appointments ... I talked. I explained.  I spoke french and translated to english. and hugged her like my little one.  It ended there.  It might not have not been the best way for a 14 year old to deal with things but It was the best I could do.
 
Valerie,
 
I know that you are in a difficult position.  Learn as much as you can about your brouther's illness.  But remember it is your brother wo is ill not you.  You have your life and need a boundery between you and him.  You need to care properly for yourself first to be there for your family and your brother.
 
And crying.  and pain.  is normal!!!  it is very sad that this man who grew up with you and who you love dearly has changed into a stranger in 6 months!!!  Take a moment to grieve this loss. 
16 years ago 0 3045 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Valerie,
 
You're brother is lucky to have such a caring sister who will go to such lengths for him.  As Josie suggested, he may even find the site helpful.  Diva has some good suggestions and insights also, she's very good at that. 
 
So welcome to the site and keep us posted.
16 years ago 0 538 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello Valerie,
 
I so feel for you. I feel teary eyed after reading your introduction. What you are going through must be so dificult. I think knowledge will be the key for you to understand him. There are some great psychology works out there to understand the basics. Some accounts written by people with mental illnesses similar to his must be available somewhere also. I think that your support is important to him even if he is acting strange towards you. He is just in a bad place atm. I would suggest that on top of posting here with us or venting with us, that you search for a support group for people with mentally illl family members. Being able to talk to people who are going through similar tings as you are would most likely be helpful.
 
As I wrote in another post, I find your love and your support towards your brother commendable. Hang in there.
16 years ago 0 12049 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Valerie,
 
Welcome to the program and good for you for getting some knowledge on this.  Communication is key and you can recommend your brother to this site for assistance and support.  Being there for him is important, so keep communicating with him that you are here for support.
 
Josie, Health Educator
16 years ago 0 4 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello, my name is Valerie and I joined the group to help be cope with a brother who has just been diagnoses with Delusional Disorder.  My brother never showed any symptoms until February when he had a breakdown.  I believe all the stress at work and some family things at home caused it to come out full blown.  Let me explain how it all started.....he came over one day with his wife because she couldn't make sense of what he was saying..just off the wall things.  We rushed him to the hospital and later time in the psychiatric ward there where he was seen by a psychiatrist.  Now it's August and it appears that in between he got better only because the meds he was on calmed his anxiety so he didn't talk about what was going on in his head.  At the time he just came saying that he's connecting the dots, and everything is going to come down, and how 'they' are going to come after him, and how the physiatrist is on it, and how the room it bugged...My heart just broke to hear my brother just so scared of something that he just made up in his head!  After seeing a doctor myself and doing A LOT of reading I can understand mental illness a bit better.  Although I feel like I'm on this roller coaster ride with him and it's very draining.  I have learned that it's better not to get into any discussion as it just makes him suspicious of me.  The last time we spoke I tried to give him guidance and told him not to think of those things and try to think of happy thoughts.  Now he's not returning my calls and says that he's going to expose me.  I am truly at my wits end in trying to understand what I can do?  Do I try to go see him? or is this going to make things worse.  Although I know I didn't do anything he treats me like I have, and gives me dirty looks and ignores me and makes comments about me.  As I write this I have tears in my eyes not because of what he's said to me, but how helpless I feel.  To all of you that suffer from mental illness I think you are the most bravest and you are not looked down at all!  Thank goodness for medication and therapy that will eventually work..healing talks time.  But if anyone has gone through this and can give me some advice I would really appreciate it.  Sorry for the long introduction.

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