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15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi Patrick,

I've been on an "internal vacation" for a long time. It's not helping only making those contacts with him more frustrating because it's all stored up. The journal helps to put my thoughts in order but that's about it. I'm trying to get more control of this but all it seems to do is prolong my internal vacation.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1890

You could opt for the 'internal' vacation by announcing that you're going to start a journal and that you need to be alone and quiet for many hours per day. Just to put some distance between you and the feelings that are stirred up right now - and then to have a sit-down parley with him in a few days hence when you've reached equilibrium again??

Patrick... ayez bonne weekend

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi Diva,

I really don't know what to say, I hope it will get better. Today has been uneventful. He did most of the talking on the way to the hotel tonight (we will pick up our son in the morning) I am just not in the mood to think up things to say. I participated in his conversations but am in a really bad place about everything. I have hope one minute and don't the next.

I understand that cancelling the hair appointment was better than keeping it once I knew what he wanted. However that's just it - I wasn't given the opportunity to know, then made to feel like I had done something wrong. To top it all off I received an order to do something that would have been done if I had been asked polietly. But it's over now and I'll move on, but the hurt remains.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 538

Hiya MO3,

Well, it really does sound like communication is tough between you two and I can see how all that feels like crazy making on his part!I wish I had great advice for you but I must admit I am no relationship expert. I did want to let you know though that my thoughts are with you. Hang in there, I am sure it can get better. You can get through this!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi Breanne,

No I rescheduled the appointment to next week - Thursday. Then I went to the store and bought him some pants for work, which he does need. I bought myself some "goal pants" meaning I can get into them but just barely, so... they're my goal.

I realize that this argument was more than about salon appointments and even though I feel like a doormat I had to change the appointment. It really wasn't the change that bothered me as much as the demand that I change it. I don' know how to communicate with him anymore it used to be easy. Now he is obstinate and irritating.

I'll take a look at the relationship section before any other sessions

Hi Patrick,

I don't see anyway to do what you are suggesting right now. Going to my Mom's is not a good idea. Mom means well but she can't help (learned a long time ago that my parents are connected most of my issues. Doesn't mean I don't love them, they just aren't going to be good for me right now.) Going to my daughter's means my ex-husband will come around and I REALLY couldn't take that right now. I spent a few days with my mother-in-law when I first took my son to her house. It was nice but I had my son with me and so it was really a family outing. We go on vacation at the end of next week so I just don't see it happening. Thanks for the thought, wish I could do something like that. I not only need some time for me but for something good for me. I haven't really felt that way in a long time

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1890

Hi, MO3. Just a quick question. What are the chances you could get a few days off to go somewhere else (your Mom's or a friend's place...) and leave Husband to deal with his son and get a nanny for the daytime when he's at work? Sounds to me like you really need some alone-time for yourself....

Patrick

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1693

Mom of 3,

I'm sorry to hear that you are not feeling too well. It sounds like there is a bit of a break in communication between you and your husband. Have you gone through the relationship section of the program? If so, did you find it helpful or applicable? If not, I suggest that you read through it.

Are you going to your hair appointment after all?

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi All,

I am miserable. Despite my best efforts I allowed my husband to get under my skin about the smallest thing.

We must drive to meet my mother-in-law half-way to pick up our son tomorrow. My husband wants to drive down tonight and stay over so we're there. The plans were not finalized until this week and I had changed my hair appointment to today at 4pm b/c my schedule changed at work. My husband had said he would not be home from work today until 5:30 so I saw no reason to change my appointment again and decided both could be accomplished. There was no reason to cancel if he wasn't getting home early anyway. At no time did I get the impression that he could or would leave work early.

Yesterday he received the reminder call from the salon and became angry - He says he thought that I had to work late and that he would have taken off early to leave tonight. (First I had heard of it) He was really angry b/c he realized that I didn't have to work. He accused me of misleading him. I had told him whenever we spoke seriously about leaving tonight that I had a hair appointment at 4 and wouldn't return home until 5:30 (when he said he was getting home) He says I never did.

Later I did notice that he would say things about me working but he frequently gets what I have told him wrong and it is getting a little old with me. I think it's some kind of game he's playing with me - like see if I can drive her crazy or he just doesn't care enough to listen well - Whatever, I'm frustrated!!!!

This all started last night when he announced "I want to leave at 4 tomorrow." and I replied that is the time of my hair appointment. He said I could cancel that and do it another time. "Anyone with common sense would want to leave earlier if they could". I took a big offense to that! Anyway he views this as all my fault and he is innocent. I tried to find middle ground but was unable to. He negated everything I said. I finally gave up & went to bed.

To top it off during one of our other talks he says I called him by my ex-husband's name, this I did not realize, but have begun to feel like I did when I was married to him. This is the kind of stuff that happened all the time with him - it is making me crazzy. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???????????? How do I stop this madness???

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