Hiya Mom of 3,

 

No need to be sorry for venting or feeling down. I think coming here to vent with people who care is a very good coping mechanism. Hang in there. I know the feeling, that sinking feeling that things will always be horrible and that you can't gain ground. I have been there. I do think and beleive that things can get better. It is waiting to get there that is the hardest. Hang in there, this too hall pass. And please come vent here with us anytime!

Not sure what to do now, I'm twenty steps back again and can't seem to get my balance back.  I should have never written anything postive b/c it never stays.  I'm unable to have it last, the slightest thing happens and I'm back to negative.

 

Sorry I said anything about what I'm doing to combat this stuff - obviously I'm full of crap!!  Everytime I think I'm onto something it breaks down into this.  I just don't know what to do now.

 

I'm really down and I'm sorry

 

 

Hi  Diva,

 

Won't write much here because of my other posts to you.  Thanks for caring.  I'm doing ok.  Have been trying to keep the negative thoughts away, but they are always close and lingering.  I've had a little success but am afraid to write much about it - wondering when the twenty steps back will hit again!!

 

Right now you should take care of yourself and your cat.  Please know that I am here if you need to vent, I am so sorry for you!

 

 

Hiya Mom of 3,

 

Sorry to hear that you had a rough time. Wanted to congratulate you on that hike of yours, sounded challenging! Sorry for the very brief reply but I did want to drop in on you for at least a few brief lines. Please keep us updated on how yu are doing. Hang in there!

Internet down here yesterday. 

You're so right that attitude sounds so 16, is so 16.  It seems to fit b/c that was my Mom's name for all my ills growing up, my attitude.  From now on it's my negative thinking habit as attitude doesn't really go away, just changes.  I want the negative thinking to go away, but need to keep attitude. An important distinction, thanks.

 

Went for a hike yesterday to an old mine and then about a mile up to the old miner's cabin.  It was gorgeous.  Last year the hike would have KILLED me.  Thanks to dropping some weight and the gym, I not only made it up and back but wasn't exhausted afterward.  Patting myself on the back for that one. I would have probably been even better without the altitude but one cannot have that type of hike w/o that! 

 

 

 

oh.  attitude sounds sounds so 16. A n resistance to authority. A growing pain. 
I like negative thinking habit.  Like a bad smoking habit.  Or a junk-food junkie.  Something that is very ingrained and we have to work at getting rid of. 

 

enjoy the view.  and if one side of the mountain is not pleasant... turn around

Hi Wildcat,

 

Thank you for writing.  Doing a little better this AM.  Slept well, woke to the view of the mountains, went for a long walk and seem over my altitude sickness from yesterday.

 

Between my post and this one I have decided to have a vacation anyway - just what you're sugesting I think.  I know that 90% of my problem is attitude. If I decide to do something positive then it will be as positive as it can be.  I just have to translate what I know into practice.  Wish me luck as I struggle along.

 

Hopefully all is still going well for you.  I have been really glad to hear about your successes lately.

 

hi mo3

 

let it all out ... that negativity has been festering for some time ... tell us about the nit (lice) picking, and the anti-social, and all of it.  cry all the tears of the ocean to clean your soul.

 

vacation from your employment might give you time to work on some on the internal issues that have been wearing you out?

 Hi Wildcat,

 

I have looked this thing over and over.  I know that my thought patterns tend to be negative but I am really getting the feeling that he's trying to upset me.  He says I scrutinize everything he does but that's all I'm getting from him.  EVERYTHING I do

is under the micrscope - right now I'm antisocial b/c I'm not out looking at the stars BUT he could leave for a run BEFORE the neighbors who were over for dinner left for the evening. I stayed w/ them until they left, but I AM ANTI SOCIAL.

 

Sorry but I feel picked on.  This is my vacation and right now it doesn't feel like it

hi mo3

 

have you taken one more step back and looked at the entire view (not at that one nose hair with the shumtz hanging to it?)

 

this week I had to do that.  I had to look at the view of  our trip since 1989.  It has been eventfull and absolutly beautiful. We have had difficult spots that meant contourning and falling... there were a few spots where we split up to meet up later on.  We back tracked but never have we time traveled and started at square 1 with no memories and no tools to move forward.

 

I saw that you are going on a trip.  look around and admire the view up and down.