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Mother Turns up after 27 years


15 years ago 0 1890 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Yeah, Mickey. Get those boundaries and assertiveness sorted out with your mother.  You're perfectly alright in what you're doing.  Point her in the direction of resources in the community so that she can begin to rebuild her life from the ground up.  You look to your own health first of all!
 
Patrick

15 years ago 0 538 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
You are most welcome Mickey and pleae come back and let us know how you are!
15 years ago 0 4 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks everyone for the support. I think you got it right about boundaries. I'm working from home right now trying to get my work to understand how I struggle with chronic depression and PTSD. Having her show up just really threw me for a loop and I needed to hear from someone..anyone. Thanks again. Much appreciated.
15 years ago 0 3043 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Mikey,
 
It sounds like you have a lot to deal with.  Breanne's suggestion is a good one.  Your Mom may not understand or want to understand your reasons but it's important to set up the boundaries anyway.   For your sake!
 
Breanne is also right, the support group is a wonderful place with many caring and understanding people.  Family issues are tough but we're all willing to be here for you.  Keep us posted.
 
 
15 years ago 0 1693 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Mickey,
 
You are not all alone. We are here for you.
Have you tried to explain to your mother why you are unable/unwilling to take her in? You are not a mean person. Mental illness is a tough thing to deal with, you should not feel guilty at all.
It sounds like you are in a tough spot, but know that we are here to for to help you through it.
 
Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator
15 years ago 0 538 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello,
 
I am sorry if this reply will be brief. I did want to let you know that we are here for you. I also think that you are not a mean person. Sometimes in life you just have to take care of yourself before you can deal with other people and that is ok. Please keep us posted on how you are doing. I am sorry to hear of everything this situations has put you through. Hang in there.
15 years ago 0 4 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Ok, I guess this will be a very unusual thing to relate to, but after 27 years I ran into my mother, who suffers from some sort of schizoid disorder, and/or shizophrenia who after finally believing it was me, immediately wanted to move in with me and telling me how much she loves me and always has. Turns out she was homeless and my brother, who I'm estranged from ended up with her. I initially talked to her and invited her into my place but all she talks about is the past and how stupid she is and how everyone in her life destroyed her and etc and etc. I turned into this 5 year old kid when I saw her wanting to help her and be there for her. Now, I'm trying myself not to be like her and I've cut her off, changed my phone number but she still shows up leaving messages and begging me to call. I feel like a mean person not trying to deal with her and it's eating me up inside. Most of all, I don't want to end up like her and I see it in the cards. All alone in the world.

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