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I need lots of help with this!!!


15 years ago 0 3043 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Mom-3
 
I am not familiar with the sister site for Panic and anxiety issues here.  However, I  have been working my generalized anxiety since 2005 with a group called Phobie-Zeros. 
 
So as I understand the process ... because it is a process...
There is a trigger, and a series of thought patterns that you automatically follow, it becomes quicker the more you "pratice".  In the case of panic attacks, there is usually one panic attack and the following situations are mostly the fear-anxiety attack- of attainting that state again.  So you have to work one situation at a time to reprogramme your reactions.
*My husband creases his forhead and I panic.  Is really, I am in a discussion.  My heart is starting to beat a bit faster and I am flushed.  I have another anxiety symptom like a shortness for breath and I am not communicating well.  Oh no he creased his forehead I am in trouble now, we are going to fight, it will be ugly, it is my fault for not getting this state of dis-comfort accross, I will find myself alone and miserable for the next 60years, no one can love me if he can't .... 
   (goddess i am so well praticed)
*so the reprogramming is, I am in a discussion.  Ah a first anxiety symptome.  I need a good cleansing breath. I need to focus on the discussion .  More anxiety.  Maybe we need to share a glass of water and change the tone of the converation.  Okay, another good breath.  and it is still not going well ...  Cheri, I have heard your points and I need a moment to reflect on them, let me splash my face with water and I will be right back.
-so you need to learn to recognise your particular process.  so need to pay attention to how anxiety affects you and the stepping-stones to your attacks. 
-so you need a few tools to reduce the anxiety as soon as it starts to build. Deep Breathing. cleansing breaths, box-breathing.  Get oxygene to the brain and carbone dioxide out! Breathing is in and OUT! otherwise it is 'hyper'ventalation.
-so you need to focus on the present moment, what is going on now. And not follow the ruts towards the catastrophic senarios.  You can use that creativity and story creation to find solutions rather than predict the future.
-you need to learn a process and that the first attemp will not change bad habits you have put in place over the YEARS! Give yourself the time and space to mank the most of your efforts.  And Celebrate the little progress into which all your efforts have gone into - these are the memory markers you need to reinforce the good habits.
15 years ago 0 3043 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I just completed session 5 reading, just got the homework assignment and found something which triggered negative thoughts and succumbed to them immediately.  This made me have a whopper panic attack.  Just as the panic attack started to subside my husband calls, and I pounced.  THE OPPPOSITE OF WHAT I HAD PLANNED TO DO!!!
 
He was of course angry with me once again, which I was prepared for this time.  We finally talked over some much needed things and I am able to better understand where he is.  I was able to make him understand my points and he explained his so that I have understanding.  I pointed out a few things he was doing that are standing in the way of our progress and he pointed out a few of my things.  Food for thought on both sides.  Now all I have to do is work on my share of the issue.  I realize I can't do anything about his side, it's up to him.  He says he loves me and is not looking for a divorce, my greatest fear is the opposite of that statement.  He says he'll work harder on his issues as well.  So that's a relief.
 
My main failure is not challenging my negative thoughts to begin with, perhaps I would have been able to handle this issue better.  Of course I found out that my catastrophic view was no where near as bad as I was making it.  I don't know but I think this episode just brought the session home for me and I may have discovered one of the biggest issues I have.
 
Does anyone have any hints on how I can stop myself from acting on my thoughts before I challenge them?  It's like they hit, I panic, and immediately act.
 
 

 
 

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