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I'm new..depression is so old..

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12049

Sarah,

Welcome to our support community. As you can see the members can be very helpful with experiences and support. We encourage you to look through the program to gain more knowledge and tools to assist you.

Keep pushing the family to help you out and perhaps make a schedule so that everyone knows when they are needed. You deserve the break and it seems to help you spend some time on you.

Check with local community centers or schools, that are in need of giving volunteer hours, you may get some house cleaning or yard keeping help to lighten the load.

Josie, Health Educator

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 229

Thank you Patrick.. and congratulations to you as well on your excellent success to become

smoke free.

I've been on a constant search for home care and the problem with that is it costs money.. as

does meals on wheels. We are on a very fixed (low) income and nothing here comes without

a cost including house cleaning, shopping assistance etc. I've looked into all of that. But thank

you for the suggestion.

We did receive a gift from an organization - a one time gift - to send my husband to a chronic

care hospital for 2 weeks back in January. It took about 6 days for me to decompress and then

I began to feel better for the next 8 days emotionally, mentally and physically. Whenever b'days

or anniversaries, or holidays roll around I always ask for cash in lieu of gifts so that I can save

up to send him there again. It's not a very nice place as most people there are very very old (hubby

is only 52) and they are dying. Very depressing to say the least.

I have done what you did suggest about asking for more help from family and friends and at the

beginning they were 'there' but they dwindled away.

I so appreciate all of your advice and suggestions.. I guess Patrick that's part of the depression..

and feeling so alone.

I have made a lot of changes while hubby was away .. I learned a lot of lessons ..i.e. to take care

of me, my down time and so on. In theory it works great - in reality not so terrific. I'm just in such

a low period of my life right now that I'm really just wanting to be numb as to not feel at all.

Thanks again Patrick.. you seem like a sweet and caring person.

Sarah

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1890

Hello, Sarah,

I've had type 2 diabetes since November 2004. Obviously I don't really know what it feels like to deal with a spouse who has Type 1 and who has experienced so many consequences of the disease.

My wife's father , she tells me, was an amputee and a stroke victim of Type 1 - she remembers how hard it was for her mother and for herself to have to treat him and control his intake of wrong foods and alcohol and tobacco. So, I understand at least at second-hand how the experience is so draining on one.

First off, I want to congratulate you on beating the addiction to nicotine and having stopped smoking 77 days ago!! I am also a quitter and I have 123 days now. Now, about how to relieve some of the stress from yourself with nursing your husband?

You have to ask for some home care. You're on disability yourself also so you have a perfect right to call the VoN and ask for home visits and then you could call social welfare and have someone come in and clean your house for you once a week. What about getting meals on wheels to deliver your main meal of the day at lunchtimeso you don't have to fuss in the kitchen several times a day??

The point is that YOu need help with this massive burden. You need lots of downtime to read or garden or just relax without being "on" 24/7 to deal with minor and major crises. You musn't try to deal with all that stress alone... You must call for help - government (both Federal and Provincial - you're in Canada?), volunteer groups, schools and colleges near you who have programmes for

Sociology or Home Care programmes may have students queuing up for a chance to help you to complete their Practicum Year??

You say that you get help from family and friends - is it not time to send them all a collective email explaining how you feel and asking them if they can do more to help you?? I know that's easy to suggest but it is essential and they must already know how stressed you are by the situation. Please forgive me for saying so but it just might be time for your husband to go into permanent care nearby and for you to visit him there for several hours a day - a place where he has constant nursing supervision and dietary control while you get to see him as often as you like but you also get to rest and refresh yourself at home and deal with your own difficulties with depression. Giving those pills time to settle in and ease the strain...

I wish I could suggest something else for you, Sarah, but I think you have to help yourself so that you can be there reasonably for your husband...

Patrick

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 229

My name is Sarah and I've been in a major depression for over 8 years. It wasn't until very recently

that I have started to come apart at the seams. I'm on an anti depressant, anti anxiety and sleeping

med's.

I have done everything I can to function as I have to because my husband is in a depression plus

he is suffering from every chronic illness associated with diabetes. He's had a leg amputated, toes

on the other leg amputated, suffered from major stroke in Jan. 07, mini strokes, heart attacks, has

been on home dialysis since 2000. He also suffers from extensive cardiovascular disease. Bottom

line he is a ticking time bomb.

My depression is a result of living with all of this for the last several years.. especially the last 8

being the worst.

We are both on disability. Life is just too hard. I am just so damned sad...

I quit smoking in March and am 77 days smoke free. I know smoking won't solve my sadness, but

I'm close to going to buy some.. but I won't.

This site was recommended to me by a member at the SSC.

So here I am.. crying yet again and feeling drained on all levels.

Just so you know I do get help from friends and family.. of course it's sporatic, but I will never look

a gift horse in the mouth.

I'm at the end of my rope right now and even with people around I feel profoundly alone.

Thanks for listening..

Sarah

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I'm new..depression is so old..