Hi Null
Can you go back to the post you wrote a month ago and get your head into that space again? You've taken a huge stride into utterly unfamiliar territory -- it's not surprising that you're second-guessing and doubting yourself, particularly after the relationship you've been in, but it doesn't have to overwhelm you. Sylvie's right -- the list you've made is perfect for practicing your CBT skills :)
What would you-of-a-month-ago say to you-today?