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New Here & a Little Desperate

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1890

Mags, Hi! Where are you and how have you been doing?? Patrick

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12

Hi Mags. I don't don't know what is so comforting about the TV when you are down, but I can honestly say that it was the first of many addictions I would eventually acquire. You story sounds very familiar. I too have a sink full of dishes and angry cats. I have battled depression for many years and what I've noticed for myself if that things come in waves. Sometimes things are clean and life is great, and other times not so much. I'm not sure if this is new to you or if it is something you have struggled with for a while. Either way, you are actively seeking help and that is more than most of us do. These little "waves " I have, when they are good, it does not mean that everything is going to be ok, and I know that now. I'm sure that I haven't said anything that helpful but at least you know that someone at least has an understanding of what you might be feeling. Take care of yourself. Brassin

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 183

Hi mags I was there too. And I have 2 kids -- with nobody picking up after them, you can imagine the state of my house! Laundry got done, but I couldn't bring myself to fold it and put away, so the dirty stuff went into the laundry basket and the clean stuff was just dumped on the bed in the spare room. Dishes piled up -- I was so miserable that I would make up excuses so that nobody would come over and see my shame. I'd wake up and tell myself that I was going to tidy up that day, but then I'd get up and be so overwhelmed by the magnitude of the mess that I'd just go back to bed. The others have given great advice, so I'll just empathize. Reality is too overwhelming at the moment, so come back to it in tiny steps -- have a bath, clean the toilet, whatever small thing will make you feel even a little better. Give yourself permission to, for the time being, leave your clothes as they are, to not worry about the things that you're avoiding by escaping into the tv and eBay. Give yourself permission to take some time to heal. Be kind to yourself.

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3045

mags, I was there. I know that horrible place. I know what it is like to look up and see the emotional mt kilimanjaro. you do not have to reach the summit in 12 weeks. take one step and have a coffee with us.

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2

Thanks everyone. I actually turned off the TV for a few hours today but spent all of the time on the computer. What do I buy on ebay? Taxco sterling jewelry, art, antique bone skulls, clothes, purses, shoes. I shower and brush my teeth when I can't stand the way I smell (at least once a week!) The sink is emptied of the dishes when the cats complain. My downstairs is only marginally messy and dirty, upstairs I have a path to the bed. I haven't washed clothes in 5 weeks but really, I don't change that often anyway. I noticed the toilet in the bath is turning red. I guess I should scrub it. I cannot get moving....

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3045

hi mags, I remember being home and spending, only I was a regular at the dollarama so my bad habit was manageable. I was spending hoping to find the right thing that would MAKE me happy... I had everything... I was spending to meet an emotional need with a physical action. A bit like my over-eating, hoping to feel filled and fulfilled. So mags what are your looking for on ebay? by the way you tube has a great video by Weird Al Yankovick called Ebay.

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12049

mags, Welcome to our support community. Being active about your progress, is commendable. Take the time to go through the program and use the tips and tools to get you started. Step by step, the program can help you assess your situation and guide you in pinpointing areas to work on. The members are extremely support and helpful, so post often :) Josie, Support Specialist

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 63

Welcome Mags. Daily Llama's advice is right on the money. Being good to ourselves in ways that don't run up the bills or leave us staring at the TV is a huge first step. Took me years to learn to do that for myself!! I so understand the lack of motivation. I have fibro and there are times when I simply cannot do the things that need to be done. That results in this total chaos in my life and I feel so overwhelmed I don't even know where to begin to sort things out. I feel paralyzed, sit in front of the TV or computer and just can't seem to begin to get going. Then, of course, I get all pissed off at myself for not taking care of things. Yi. Big, ugly circle. At least you've arrived here. That's something postive. :) I know it took years to find exactly the right combo of antidepressants that work for me. I take Prozac and Welbutrin now, and that seems to be the magic bullet. Ok, maybe not magic, but it cuts waaaaay back on the crying, being totally paranoid and miserable. I also have been through therapy using CBT and find it's the most effective mental medicine I can apply. Getting motivated to do the sessions, well, that's another thing tho, isn't it? Thankfully I see the mods here have started some threads to encourage us. I noticed them and am looking forward to taking advantage of that gentle little push. Anyway, welcome!

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1890

Mags, Give the charge cards to a friend to hold for you. Turn the TV off for a minute. Look at the floor/carpet. Throw yourself onto the floor from either the bed or the LaZboy and lie there asking yourself "where do I go from here?"... the kitchen or the bathroom - if it's the bathroom go on hands and knees to the tub and fill with warm/hot water (you can lie down on the bathroom floor until the tub is filled). Squirt bubble bath stuff under the nozzle and then undress and slide into the tub and keep putting a warm washcloth over your face until you feel relaxed....stay awake all the time and just feel the warmth around you. Concentrate on the warmth. YOU did this for YOURSELF and it didn't cost you more than a few cents..... repeat this twice a day until you really know what it is to be good to yourself. Now you can go to the kitchen and have a piece of fruit. And a chamomile tea. Sit at the kitchen table rather than slumping back into your lounger/ bed. Read the back of the Cornflake box. Go to the computer and Google Major Depression Disorder. Reread all the information about it you can handle. Now, you can turn on the TV to the Animal shows only for an hour. Think about going for another bath.... Not kidding.

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2

Hi, I'm "Mags" I've had depression for several years. Right now I am on 300mg of Effexor a day and all it seems to do is keep me from crying all the time. I've lost my job and have sat at home staring at the TV and maxing out my charge cards on ebay for the last 6 months. I am quickly going thru my savings but cannot seem to stop or get moving or anything. I'm going to the public health department for the meds and once a month sessions. If I can't change soon, I will lose my home and what is left of my mind. Suggestions anyone? How do you force yourself to move off your ass and change?

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