Well, another huge mistake this weekend,
Totally flipped, for no reason a sane person may say.
Went to chiropractor sat morning, felt a bit dizzy and faint due to meds but husband drove so all seemed to be fine.
Got home and had to go visit his 86yr old mother who had taken a bad fall. I am still at this time holding myself together.
Then as I went to walk out the door I fell. Really badly, hurt shoulder, my shins landed on a step so now very bruised and swollen and to top it all the bruise on my back horrendous. At the time it was more shock than pain so guess what, hubby still insists that i go with to see his mum.
When we got home he obviously wanted to watch the rugby in the evening, I went to have a rest. When i got up he had said he was recording a programe that was on same time as rugby but actually he had fogotten to press the record button but accused me of deleting it. something so silly made me snap. I just went for it all guns blazing and couldnt stop myself.
I knew i just had to get out of the house and decided to drive to my sons. My husband took the keys to the car away from me and told me what a nutter i was and worse, so i took the keys to his beloved van.
He was saying , not the van not the van, I dont know, it just really got to me. should he not have been worrying about me rather than the
van. Well i drove his damn van to my sons where i spent the night.
my husband went to bed and didnt even bother to try to find out where i had gone.
Well the upshot of all this drama was I returned home on Sunday morning and locked myself in the bedroom.
Couldnt face hubby, you know for a moment i was filled with hatered, sadness and despair all at the same time. also had missed my meds as had gone to my sons without even any shoes, what a sight.
My son came round Sunday afternoon and had a long chat with me, said how sorry he was that he hadnt realised how sick i was.
Could see now that i had been telling him for weeks and he just really wasnt listening or couldnt belive that Mum wasnt in control. He then went into the lounge and lectured my husband, said he understood how my hubby couldnt cope or understand but it was up to them to learn about the illness and they would have to cope.
But he demanded to know one thing. Did my husband want to help as if not he must say so that my son and daughter know whats happening.
He said, Dad dont tell us you will do something for mum and then not do it. She has always been there for all of us and we have let her down. It broke my heart to hear him but the relief of knowing that I may get some support is encouraging. I will have to wait and see if words = actions but at least i feel as though i have someone on my side.
The pain of the bruising today is awful and this morning I thought i was doing o.k. until my father phoned and demanded something from me and i just crumbled again. I guess it really is 1 step forward and 2 steps back but I am hoping that at some point the forward steps will be more than the backwards ones. Husband bringing the his lap top back for me around 2pm GMT will try to go on im and see if anyone around. take care all. till later x ps. love the new picture Daily Llama.
