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Afraid


16 years ago 0 8760 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Lady, You've gotten some great responses from your fellow members. We strongly encourage you to keep working through the tools of the program. You will learn how to challenge those negative thoughts and only get better at it as you practice your new skills. These things take time. Get through this rough patch and take the lessons learned with you. Danielle, Bilingual Support Specialist
16 years ago 0 101 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
hope they don't have to admit you gabs. But if they do you know it will because they feel they need to. And Lady, if you have a time (Easter time (Greenwich mean minus 5 hours) you usually post let me know and I will try to be there. It may be the blind leading the blind but we all can help. We are all of us afraid.
16 years ago 0 172 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi lady, i am new to the site but although lack of activity, after a really desperate day if i hadnt of stopped to post on this site, i promise you I wouldnt be here now. Danielle answered me and managed to make me feel that someone was out there. It stopped me short. I have been up out of my bed for only 1 hour today and have to go to the hospital tomorrow in the hope that they dont keep me in. Please be brave. I know its hard but I read your story on another post and you inspired me. You are a good person and will do what is right for you and your family, even if it doesnt feel like it now. Try to focus on yourself and spend time trying to get your head in a good place even if only for 10 mins. This is the time to then think what you should do for your family. You have a man that you love and who loves you. How many people can say that? Not enough. hang on in there, hold on tight, its a hell of a roller coaster ride that we're on. People do care, I care and I only know you from your postings. Look afteryourself. hope I can keep posting, if not you know they have addmitted me.x
16 years ago 0 101 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
You can't just get over stuff. Kids are a big responsibility and hard to cope with at the best of times. If you are prone to depression it can be worse. And not being able to cope makes you guilty and so on down the negative spiral. But having them can also keep you from giving in to the overwhelming desire to just go to bed, pull the covers over your head and stay there forever. My kids once kept me(unknowingly) from suicide. They were 1 and 2 1/2 at the time. I was going to put them to bed, use a pillow to muffle the sound and use my husband's rifle which had a short stock because it was his as a child. I was going to do it in a room that had a door that jammed that they couldn't open, so that they would not be the ones to find me.I was ready to carry it out when I realized that I had left the older one in the bathtub alone. The danger I had left him in shocked me out of my plan. What I am trying to say is work the program and make it work for the kids. Don't discard them or push them away. They need you. The rejection will hurt them and they will feel responsible.
16 years ago 0 5195 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Danielle, What made the other day so wonderful was being with people I love having a great time. It really was a great day. Negative thinking is what brings me down but I don't seem to be able to avoid it. I suppose I don't know how. I also experienced a major incident involving my two boys. I cannot share here what happened but it was quite disturbing. I have to go home today which takes me away from the man I love. I probably wont see him again for a couple of weeks. At the same time, I'm glad to have someone that supports me and loves me. Earlier today, I was convenienced that my boys would be better off with other family members as opposed to me. I was ready to take the 5 year old to his dad and drop the 14 year old off at his aunts house. I just don't feel I'm a good enough mother. Providing a roof over their heads and food to eat just isn't enough. I've been in tears since yesterday evening. I suppose I should just get over it but it really isn't that simple. I don't know why I'm even typing this. It's not like anyone really cares. I don't know what I'm doing or what I'm suppose to do. This is probably a big waste of time. I don't know why I'm pouring out my soul in an anomous sight where there isn't even much activity. I doubt anyone can really help me. I've been in Counseling for a year now and I still have too many issues to deal with.
16 years ago 0 8760 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Lady, You're doing the right thing. Working through the program may help you identify triggers. What made yesterday such a great day? Was it the pleasurable activities or the people you were with or both or other reasons? What is making today a bad one? Negative thoughts? Are you alone? Bored? Keep us posted. Danielle, Bilingual Support Specialist
16 years ago 0 5195 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I get afraid when I've had extreme highs and the lows immediately follow. It seems my life is always ups and downs. It is very rare that I find a happy medium. Yesterday was awesome. We went the State Fair and it was a lot of fun. Today is down the drain. Extreme high to extreme low. I'm trying to work the program here and am doing the mood tracker. I'm hoping that this will help me avoid my trigger spots. I don't know how to control my depression. Is there any such thing? I'm trying to learn all I can and would appreciate any assistance anyone could help me with. Thanks.

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