I find that I am second guessing my meds all the time. When I first started getting 'treatment' it felt like all the Dr. did was pile on more and more medication. I felt lazy because I thought that I should be able to deal with my 'problems' without so many drugs. I thought we got things sorted out with my drugs about a year and a half ago - 80mg Celexa, 300mg Welbutrin, 1mg Risperdal. Over time I was questioning if I needed them all. Over the past 6 months I have been going through a serious setback and a new Dr. decided to add a new drug (Lamogtragine) to the mix. I had to cut back on the Celexa before starting the new drug and I could really feel the difference when my dosage was reduced, gradually, by 20mg. Now that my new drug dosage is up, I can feel a difference for sure. I hate taking so many pills everyday and I hate feeling weak because I can't 'solve' my 'problems' without meds, but I wouldn't trade anything for having some sanity back in my life. Until I started getting better, I didn't realize how bad things had gotten.
I spent the past weekend with my family celebrating Thanksgiving - my favourite holiday. The past few have been terrible - migraines, avoiding people, and anxiety. This weekend was wonderful. I was actually happy! Other than making sure to take my meds, I didn't think about being 'sick' at all. What a wonderful feeling to be able to breathe normally. I don't think I could have found this happiness without my drugs, so for me, the pros definately outweigh the cons. I truly hope that you can find the best combination of meds, therapy and lifestyle choices that work for you.
