Thank you Liz for your reply as you can tell I am in great need of some support now. My husband is in the military and he is on his base now. I dont have much family either. I am hurting so bad. There is nothing that I can do about getting therapy or meds now because it is expensive and with the holidays and other things going on I just cant afford to get any kind of treatment now. However my husband is trying to get me under his medical insurance but something always comes up to delay the process. Hopefully this week we can do something about it to hurry it up. I really want to get better. The reason I am so worried is because before I was severly depressed .I did get better after taking meds and seeing a therapist. That was about five years ago. I Didnt know my depression would come back. I guess I was naive. Here I am 5 years later and in this dark hole again. This time I am more worried because I am having different symtoms with my depression I feel so disconnected from the world because I think I have Social anxiety,social phobia, or agoraphobia. Im not sure what it is Liz it is really scary though and Ive never felt this way before. I am not a docter so I cant diagnose myself so I dont exactly know what it is thats going on with me. When I see a docter I am sure that I will find out what is going on with me. Untill then I can only hope its not something too bad. I am not on meds now I am taking st. johns wort wich doesnt seem to help in the least bit and as ugly as it sounds I have also been drinking quite a bit. I am so confused right now. I know that this is life and sometimes you have to deal with all kind of crap so Im not trying to complain or anything .Besides there are people with worse problems so Im not trying to feel sorry for myself or anything. Its been such a bad year for me though and depression doesnt make it any easier. Im sorry if Im whining now but I know this is a long post too so thank you Liz for listening. It is a hard struggle. Its people like you that let me know that someone does care.Thank you for listening Liz.And remember that if you ever Have a problem or want to talk about anything I am here for you.Take care, Kat
P.s. I cant get The cbt buddies to work on this computer. I tried and couldnt download it for some reason