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18 years ago 0 12 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
[size=4][color=Purple][font=Comic Sans MS]I dint read all the posting in this section but here is my goal very concret one Cleaning up my house, getting rid of all that is not necessary like old papers and stuff I am a pack rat and the house has taken over it look alot like a tornado past thru it. I just haven figure out how nor what time schedule to finish are even time schedule to work on it since I am not at the top of my game. JUst started my medications last week I have to give my self some time but must be careful cause I might just give my self to much time. I know there is a name other then pack rat for what I do my house was a major part of my kids being put into foster care 6 years ago got them back 4 years ago. BUt I never clean out the basement like I was suppose to do and what did get done you cant tell now It took my 2 weeks just to empty the sink in the KItchen so I dont know how I can get in done I have no help and no family to help me. So if any one has ideas or the other name for a pack rat thing I would A preciate it I wil try to read them all. Me kind I am starting session 2 tomorrow Eclaire[/size][/color][/font]
18 years ago 0 189 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Gabbi, Do you still live in Australia? I grew up in a small town about 200kms west of Adelaide. I went to see a psychotherapist for the first time. I had a panic attack for 2 hours in the morning and the hour that I was with her. I feel totally exhausted but I learnt that I have issues that date back to when I am a child. I can't believe the things I bottled up inside from such a youg age. I am going to see my 3rd Psychiatrist on Friday as my medication is not working, and nothing has worked so far. Going to the doctor or therapist is the only time I leave my house. I think I have become to used to being in the house that I don't ever want to leave. After coming home this afternoon I had a breakdown. I felt so low that I didn't know what I was going to do. I am just starting to recover from that. I feel so helpless and like a total failure. I can't believe how bad I feel at the moment. Every second is a struggle. Take care - Sharon
18 years ago 0 207 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Sharon i agree with you on so many levels its quite scary to read some of your posts because its like your writing how i think and feel.I know how it feels to have such high expectations that are always failing to be reached because they are so high and i certainly agree with your statement that its easier to do the jobs myself rather than have someone else do them because then i know they'll be done to my standards.You say your family live in Australia well thats where im from uncanny hey.Well i hope that we can help and support each other in the coming weeks/months to recover from our disorders.I look forward to talking with you.Gabbi.
18 years ago 0 189 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I feel like I am looking in a mirror when I read your story. I am exactly the same. I worry about what people think instead of what I think. I too am a perfectionist and controlling, especially when it comes to my work. My attitude is it is easier if I do all the work then I know it will be perfect, instead of teaching someone how to do it and let them try and teach them. I also put people on a very high moral and ethical standard. People have said my standards are to high, but it is very important to me to have good moral and be very ethical. Most of the people I work with do not share my morals or ethics. My biggest regret is 4 years ago I had my tubes tied. I wanted 4 kids and my husband wanted 2 kids. My husband is a teacher and university a university degree and I don't. I have one year of college. I feel inferior to him. I believe I had my tubes tied so that he would think I am smart as I agree with him. What a huge mistake that was. I don't know what to do about that. I think about it allt he time. When I see kids on TV, playing outside I start breakdown and cry. I makes me feel so depressed and sad. I hate that I can't control these thoughts. I feel like I am in quicksand upto my neck and I am about to go under. Anytime you want to talk let me know. Sharon
18 years ago 0 207 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
My treatment goal is to be able to say no to people without feeling guilty.I want to stop seeking approval off everyone instead of worrying about what everyone thinks of me i dont want to care what they think.I want to learn how to love myself instead of putting myself down all the time i want put myself up there with everyone else and i want to learn how to stand up to my husband and be able to tell him to pick his act up or im leaving instead of being too scared to leave because i dont have the confidence to raise my young children on my own.And i want to stop being such a perfectionist i want to enjoy life again!
18 years ago 0 189 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Casey, Thanks for your kind words and support. You don't know how hard it has been over the past 4 months. On reflecting on my life, I have had low self-esteem since I was a teenager. I was very athletic in school and people didn't like me because of it. I am also very hard on myself, which I know is self-defeating. I am usually optimistic about everyone but a pessimist when it comes to me. I am scared about going to my appointment tomorrow but I know I have to go. Along with my despression I have anxiety, panic disorder (I am a member of Panic Center) and severe social phobia. I only leave my house when I have to go and see a doctor. When I do leave the house I have sever panic attacks. In the past 4 weeks I have only left my house 4 times as I see my doctor/psychiatrist on a weekly basis. Thanks you once again. This site had given me hope. Sharon
18 years ago 0 3043 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Sharon, Excellent attitude! You are on the right track, congratulations on identifying your goals. It sounds like you have been struggling with depression for a while. It may take some time to make the kinds of changes you are planning to make, but these are attainable and the features of our site are available to assist you. In many cases "low self esteem" and chronic depression are the same thing. The CBT techniques for depression will help with the issues you are struggling with. Be sure to work through the depression program at your own pace, give yourself plenty of time to make these changes one step at a time. The knowledge you will gain through completing the steps of the program will help you on your journey. Casey __________________________________ The Depression Center Support Team
18 years ago 0 189 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
My treatment goal is to get a backbone. I always give in and never voice my opinion as I worry what people will think of me or it might turn into an argument. My communication skills need alot of work. Another goal is to stop saying sorry. Even when my husband disagrees with me I am always saying sorry. It has nothing to do with him but my low, actually non-existent self-esteem. I feel really stupid and not smart, ugly, and all I want now is for people to like me. At the end of this journey I won't care if people like me as I will LOVE MYSELF. This journey WILL make me a STRONGER and BETTER person.
18 years ago 0 12049 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Congratulations! We are congratulating you because your post is actually a great form of self talk. This is really a step in the right direction. We encourage you to go through the very beginning of the Depression Program, especially Session 2, where you'll get some help about setting Treatment Goals. Here's why: Usually when people are depressed, their goal is to just feel better, feel good, or not feel depressed (or in your case, one of your goals is to stop putting yourself down). However, there's a problem with setting very general goals, in that in order to reach a goal, you need to break it down into smaller steps. When you set a Treatment Goal you need to set goals that are about doing and not about feeling. In order to get there, (in order to stop putting yourself down) you need to concentrate on making small steps and small changes that will cause you to feel good about yourself. What can you do to make yourself say "Great job!"? It doesn't have to be something complex - start with something small. For example: *Start a puzzle, and when your finished say: "I accomplished something today" *Ask a friend out for a coffee and just try to enjoy yourself. On your way home say "I'm a good friend". *Help one of your neighbors with a small task. When your finished say: "I really helped someone out today". Measure how your feel with your Mood Tracker after you finish each task. You'll soon find that if you do things that will "put yourself up", you'll soon stop "putting yourself down"! Congratulations and good work! Josie ___________________________________ The Depression Center Support Team.
18 years ago 0 142 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
my treatment goal is to stop putting myself down so much. i seem to be my own worst enemy. my self talk is not very positive and my goal is to turn that around. i take each day as it comes and try to say something nice about myself, like i am a good person. i am kind, or sweet. things like that. i usually am the kind of person that has alot of self hate, hating the way i look, ect. i am trying not to focus on the negative stuff and hopefully a more positive regiment will be replaced in time.

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