i understand how you feel. i have over a hundred scars on my body, and i think they're disgusting. but i don't try to hide them, b/c it's a reminder of what i've been through. and if i can use my mistakes to help someone else stop theirs, then i will keep them forever. don't feel ashamed about what you did, learn from it. the only way we learn is through mistakes. and i hope you don't have to do that anymore.