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It's not your fault!
People will never understand depression unless they've
experienced themselves. It's something that they really cannot
understand emotionally/physically.
Once my co-workers and I got into a discussion about anti-
depressants and one of them said "Everyone has a bad day", I
kinda stopped talking after that b/c that period of time was one
of my low points. I had to ignore what was happening and stop
participating in the discussion to prevent myself from feeling
worse.. (as if that's possible..ha..) It's frustrating, but you have to
remember they don't know what it's like, and are basing what
depression feels like based on their own experience (..no
depression...) so, to them, depression seems like this blah-blues
that you get over in short time.
So I wonder, are my feelings all my fault? Is it because of who I am that I feel so bad? Am I just making all of this up in my head? What if people are right, that I need to just forget all of this, and pretend it didn't happen. Pretend that I feel great and just go on with my life. I need too.
This whole depression thing is in my head. I am making it all up for attention. And if I just keep forgetting the feelings then they will go away. As my friend keeps telling me "you keep thinking that medication will solve all of your problems", well thats not true, because the thing with my meds, I just want something to help me. I know it won't solve it all, but my life is great. Chemically I am just totally screwed up. There I go again, just blaming it all on my medication. Oh well. I have to think positively. Thats all I am aloud to do now.
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