I've been through college and let me tell you. It's not that scary. Don't worry about "fitting in". Everyone fits in somewhere. If you're not getting any help now, I think you really should consider seeing someone. Or talk to someone you really trust about your problems. I think you should be more concerned about your depression more then about college. But seeing as how you're concerned about college shows that you haven't lost hope. I hope you get any help you need.