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11 years and counting

Timbo637

2024-10-31 6:49 AM

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Feels like hell week all over!!

Timbo637

2024-10-30 9:38 AM

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Roller Coaster Withdrawal

Timbo637

2024-10-14 12:28 PM

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Smile....and don't shoot the messenger

Timbo637

2024-09-27 3:17 PM

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Can't tell where I stand


21 years ago 0 1062 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Great! I do follow what you're saying. It sounds like you've got a lot of control back from it, and that's just super!
21 years ago 0 4 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
There is usually a negative thought of sorts that does proceed those sort of self hate statement. It typically is short-lived as if something inside is popping up from time to time, similar to an involuntary Turettes outburst, to say "Hey, remember me? Depression? I'm still here." Then my mind says "Yes, I see you. And I have no use for you right now." It's hard to tell what the trigger actually was. My depression in the recent past was almost constant. Now I don't have room for it like I did in the past. I used to make room for it. Now I want that room back. I spend much of my time on developing myself in terms of positive attributes. I do understand what you are saying and it does make sense. Now that I am able to explain myself in writing, I can see what I am thinking deep inside. I can't say that the next time I have a severe stuttering episode that I won't feel bad, but I can say the duration will be shorter than it has been in the past. I think that my time spent reading about positive mental attitudes and other self-improvement materials is pushing out many of the negative thoughts that have formed over the years. And by actually implementing so of the suggestions, I can see the positive results. Now I need to keep this habit. Nice conversing with you!
21 years ago 0 1062 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
In self-talk, we carry on a conversation with ourselves. What was the thought that preceded that one, the one that led you to ask that question? That type of sentence (Why was I born?) is usually the conclusion of a thought process as opposed to the start of the inner conversation. I would guess here that you stopped yourself from indulging in a free-for-all pity party that spiralled further downward. A thought does not lie there. In self-talk we always reply to the initial thought. Your sentence seems to be "OK, I accept that" before you change to another thought in order to escape a pity party? I would suggest you zero in and find positive answers to those types of thoughts, rather than accept them as a negative fact, if that's what you're doing. By leaving that type of question unanswered, then you are engaging in self-talk that says you're worthless. Don't accept that. Are you hard on yourself? If so, turn those thoughts around and take some time to counter them in a positive way before you move on to another item. Make sense?
21 years ago 0 4 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I'm actually fine with how the interview went since I went in with an attitude that I already won in getting the interview. And I won by gaining the experience of being in an executive level interview. I tried to prepare, but was caught off guard by interviewers that had little to no skills in interviewing (my opinion). Not a problem, I was evaluating them as much as they were evaluating me. My stuttering has always been a quick way for me to get depressed. Being made fun of in almost every possible situation for nearly 40 years takes it toll. I did try the program from NCS (National Center for Stuttering). It was expensive and probably would have helped. Honestly, my mind was not ready to put in the time required to succeed. I might try again later. But my mind needs to be ready to make the dedication required. Going back to my original point for posting, I seem to see my depression in a new way. For example, I can think negtive thoughts about myself such as "Why was I born?". Then my mind moves on to something else as if it was saying "Okay, said that. What else is on the checklist of things to do today?". I am trying to understand if this is positive or negative in terms of managing depression. If it is positive, maybe this can help others. If not, then I need more help.
21 years ago 0 1062 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Joe. I'm not a doctor, but it looks like you are taking it in hand and getting on with life. So kudos to you! A job interview is really stressful, and if you're not happy with it, then it's normal to feel down about it. Perhaps what you could use are some tricks to help you through times like that? I have a relative who stuttered terribly as a child. He dreamed up tricks to be able to read his material, always having a written prompt to cover whatever he wanted to discuss. When he had to do a presentation to his high school class on volcanoes, he did it from the back of the class, projecting magazine pictures on a screen in the front of the room. He read his material from a prepared text. He got the highest mark, by the way, to our family's delight. No one noticed if he stuttered or not. He later became a successful newscaster, and then found it fun to produce the newscast. Is this the kind of thing that's on your mind?
21 years ago 0 4 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
It's hard to explain what's on my mind. But I had been fighting depression from a very, very early age. I'm guessing the fight started when I started to stutter at age 5. Now I am 43, still stutter despite treatment efforts, and now have come to terms with my depression. By coming to terms I mean that I see my depression as just another aspect of my life such as having blue eyes. I still get depressed, but the deep down impact is less. I was one celerex for a period of time and quit taking it. I felt that I could manage this demon, yet not defeat it entirely. By accepting it, I seemed to have reduced its controlling power. For example, I went to a job interview today for an executive level position. I felt that I did awful in the first half of the interview. Yet, I am not deeply depressed. Yes some, that is where I am posting now. I have been reading and listening to positive mental attitude material for the past several months. I really enjoy listening to these. I think I have confused my depression and myself. Comments?

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