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Smile....and don't shoot the messenger

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Depression & Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?


21 years ago 0 12 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
hi kelly doesn't insomnia suck! I know about the no sleep thing. I took a bunch of pills that are supposed to put me out for many hours but i am still awake at 4:30 am. Well at least if i dont sleep i wont get the nightmares. lol hope you get some rest. take care of yourself. heather
21 years ago 0 6 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
H, No sleepwalking for me, but I do keep lights on in the house (I wouldn't say it is a fear of the dark, it just helps with the extreme lonliness I feel living alone). I have the same issues with personal space and don't often get close to people. Some of that stems from OCD (germaphobe). I also need an escape from a room. I feel uncomfortable in a group situation and always feel I am watched and judged by my presence. All of these things I am working on with my therapist, but it is a long road and sometimes I like to sit down and take a break from the madness of awareness and self help. There is only so much energy I can have each day. As you can tell by the time, 2:30 am, the meds are not working with the insomnia tonight. I can't call in sick on the Friday before a holiday, it would look bad and you know I don't want to call attention to myself. I guess I better do my relaxation exercises and try to sleep... Take care, Kelly :)
21 years ago 0 12 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Kelly thanks for sharing about the meds. I was kind of worried because I am on five different ones. Kind of a walking pharmacy. lol I know exactly what you mean about the negative thoughts and the suicidal thoughts. I battle the suicide urge at least 3 times a week. I still do a lot of things that I had to do as a child in order to survive. Things that I dont really need now that I am an adult. I always plan how I can exit from any place I am in case trouble happens. I always sit facing the door. I get really tense if there is someone between me and the door. I always imagine the worst outcome in any given situation and plan what I will do when it happens. I become very defensive if someone touches me. All stuff that is wierd for an adult. So far my boyfriend has been very patient about this but I know he thinks its odd. Do you ever sleepwalk. Most nights I have night terrors and wake up in a sweat but lately I have been sleepwalking. This morning when I woke up every light in the house was on and my back door was wide open. I kind of worry that I will start walking around outside or something. My therapist says that it is because of new memories and flashbacks. thanx h
21 years ago 0 6 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
H, I have taken most of the drugs out there, but at the moment I am taking Effexor, Lamictal, Klonapin, Lithium, and Trazadone. I am diagnosed Bipolar II and PTSD. I know Effexor doesn't work alone and I do need the Trazadone for sleep. I can't pick any one drug and say that it helps or doesn't help. When I don't take them I can feel the effects and Lamictal is the only one that stays in my system for a while. For that, I can thank my doctor. When I was on others, there was some addictive quality and the drug lingered as I came off it. None of my current meds have side effects for me except for lack of labido. The man I am dating currently said tonight that he has never met someone that has a more negative view or can turn good statements into bad ones than me. I am not proud of it, but it is a reality I am trying to change. I don't think the medications are going to help with those thoughts and I have been suicidal for 22 years, so the coping skills I have might not be the "right" ones, but I told him that it is a form of survival. Maybe he just hasn't met a PTSD survivor before... Kelly :)
21 years ago 0 12 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Kelly thanks for your thoughts. I am still not sure about the therapy stuff but I went today and it kind of helped a bit. I totally understand about the long term trauma. Been there done that. It sucks huh. I am glad you found a new psychiatrist. I hope the meds and stuff work out for you. Just a question if you dont mind. Dont answer if you dont want to. I was just wondering because we sound like we are in similar situations, does the shrink have you on all kinds of pills? I am taking zyprexa, ativan, trazodone, wellbutrin and effexor. I feel like a walking pharmacy and am not sure if all these drugs are necessary. thanx h
21 years ago 0 6 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Heather, I guess it is up to me if I keep going to therapy or not. I don't see any benefits (had a long life of trauma), but I am not using therapy like my friends think I should. Don't know what "using therapy" is exactly, so I keep going thinking it will help me at some point. At least I am comfortable with this therapist. I have had a few in the past that were awful for me (I took my hatred out on them and wouldn't talk to them.) I was between psychiatrists in January and had a really hard time with the medication adjustment, so my therapist still thinks I need her. One suggestion I would make to you would be to talk to your therapist about taking a break to see if you are affected by the loss of treatment. You can always call or make an appointment if you really need to talk again. Hope this helps, (unfortunately, I see myself in therapy until death) Kelly :)
21 years ago 0 12 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Kelly thanks for your post. Your story sounds like the story of my life. I wake up from night terrors with really bad sweats almost every night. I am taking 150mg of effexor and 300mg of wellbutrin for the depression. I am taking 300 mg of trazodone which now allows me to sleep for about 3-4 hours. this is an improvement because i could only sleep two hours before. I also take zyprexa and ativan that are supposed to help with sleep but i dont think they do much. My doctor says i have a high tolerance to medication. yay for me lol. I am seeing a therapist also so i know what you mean about nightmares after. I guess it is from talking out all of the bad memories. Did your therapist tell you how long you will have to be in therapy. I have been going once a week for 3 months now and am anxious to be done with it. thanks heather
21 years ago 0 6 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Heather, I have both conditions and wake up almost every night from nightmares. My therapist also agrees that I must go through the memories to re-experience the traumas. Usually therapy (twice a week for 2 years now) sparks the nightmares I have. The worst are the ones with night sweats and shortness of breath. I am currently taking Trazadone (for sleep) and Klonapin (for anxiety) before bed and if I take 200mg of Trazadone, I sleep without waking up. I am groggy the next day, so it is a tradeoff to what you are willing to put up with. 200 mg would normally put a normal person in a deep sleep for days, but I sleep about 7 hours (which is a miracle for me). Maybe this information will help you and your doctors find what's best for you. Take care, Kelly :)
21 years ago 0 10 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Pip Thanks for posting it really does help that someone else is going through similar stuff and is remaining hopeful. I saw the therapist today and it really was a rough go but things are starting to come out and we are working through the feelings. It was nice to hear from you on a bad day. I didn't get any clear answers on how to not obsess over stupid thoughts and get to the serious stuff that really needs some thought. I still get the nightmares also...I guess that is all part of it. I hope the lack of sleep doesn't make me go nuts again before I figure out stuff. Be Well! Heather
21 years ago 0 1062 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Attachment to your childhood home is understandable. It might be quite useful for you to discuss the whole issue seriously with your therapist. I can't tell you if it's a good idea or not to remain, but your therapist can help you sort that out. (Are you sure you mom does not want to move for her own sake though?)

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