I can relate. A LOT. But please don't lose hope... I found this site almost a year ago, sounding almost exactly like you. With the help of the plan made for me on this site, the support forum and (if I may mention a book that was life changing for me) the book "At last a life" panic and anxiety free by Paul David, I have been able to be social, run my kids to extracurriculars, dr appts, even had a baby!!! That's not to say I am "cured" or panic and anxiety free...I have good days and bad days, but I am recovering and I am able to MANAGE. I was at such a low that I could barely leave my bedroom or my bed. Almost lost my life to it. IT CAN CHANGE. YOU ARE STILL NORMAL, you're just scared and that's ok. it is terrifying stuff to deal with. At certain points in my life I was on medication, but I have achieved all of this medication free. If you need it TAKE IT. No shame in that at all. But recovery is SOOOO possible, you are not lost. Sending all the support in the world!!