Cara.
This is a disorder so it can be reversed. With disorders you have a choice of at least two ways to function. What you do is use the wrong one. You are not alone everyone has this choice, even me. A very large part of the reason a person takes the wrong way is due to attitude and mood. The third reason is core beliefs. Negative core beliefs all have one thing on common. "I can't because" That alone is enough to choose the wrong path so to say. Almost instantly this opens up mood. Between the two you have attitude. If you really think you can't change this then you will reinforce the core belief and strengthen the mood. It goes round and round like that mythological snake that eats it's own tail. Don't feel bad because this really is hard to stop.
If I have any say in this you will not have anxiety ruining your life. It can be cured.
The difference between concern and worry is that concern has an answer even if it is wrong and worry has too many or none. Worry is not being able to make a decision. This is why you keep bringing up anxious thoughts and can't get rid of them. You have to think concern instead of worry. Those two words might seem to mean the same thing but far from it. With concern you look at a question, give it an answer and move on. With worry you can't move on because it still needs an answer or a decision if you have too many answers. One on one always. And always a positive answer which means you need a positive attitude and a positive mood. With concern there can be no maybe. It has to be a definite.
So to use concern you first have to accept you are anxious, no maybe, but a definite. "I am anxious" That is the one answer to that concern. Next concern, "what do I do about it" Accept it. "it is there". Next concern, "why is it there"
Definite answer, "because I let it". One answer only, no maybe's or buts here, if there are any you have to start over. This is the beginning of changing any core belief that is causing the anxiety in the first place. By now you should be able to accept that is not a trigger doing this but your thoughts on the trigger. So the next concern is how do I stop this.
This looks like worry doesn't it, But it isn't because each concern has an answer. Worry would not, worry would jump all over the place. So back to the next concern, "how do I stop this" This one has a number of answers but again you have to pick only one. And that one is by thinking positive. Here is where you get to add techniques. This is the only place you can have more than one answer. Everything before this can have only one answer because you are trying to keep the thought in a straight line with no branches to cause worry or confusion.
So now you should be thinking you have an anxiety disorder and you are going to fix it, not that you are anxious and there is nothing you can do and that others will suffer because of it. Every time you think you can do nothing about it ask yourself why you think that. Because you haven't been able to before. Well that is just another concern and if you treat it with one answer only and a positive one it will not turn to worry. Why can you do nothing about it. "because your core beliefs tell yo so. Next concern, "why do they do this" Single answer, because they always have. Next concern, "how do I change this", by not believing them. The truth is and you want to build core belief on this is that you can change that thought. So now some positive thoughts starting with acceptance and belief. Accept that for now and only for now you have an anxiety disorder. You have to believe me when I say you can cure it or you never will. Stop worry in it's tracks by switching it to concern. Be assertive, no maybes You have to think positive and convince yourself you can change your thought patterns. And finally accept that even though this works you are going to spend what ever amount of time it takes even if it is weeks to make it work. No what ifs or maybes. You are going to think positive and it is going to work. Remember every time you think one of those "I can't thoughts" that you are setting yourself back. You can and you must because this won't go away unless you make it. Can you do this? Can you accept it is temporary and you will not always have to do this?
Davit.
