Cara
We are not born with this, it is not inherited. We put it there and we can undo it by breaking the pathway that causes it. It starts with one change. That change can be the trigger. That won't work in your case because your trigger is fear. You can't move away. Working down the line the next thing is the thought that calls up the code that causes the reaction. This you can change by consciously thinking something that is not attached to that code. In doing that every thought attached to that code sits dormant and will not happen. The third option is to change the thoughts attached to the code thought that the trigger calls up. This is slower but more permanent because in doing that it doesn't matter if the trigger is attached to a negative thought code it opens up positive symptoms. This one is cognitive and requires thinking positive 24/7. The second solution is using distractions and coping skills to keep the trigger from reaching the thought code that causes the symptoms. This is behavioural. Put the last two together and you have Cognitive behavioural therapy. No matter what you do for your anxiety it will fit under one of these. Be it yoga, meditation, relaxation, distractions etc or positive thought. There are more behavioural techniques than Cognitive.
Okay, this is mechanics, this is how it works and I don't think that is going to do you any good. You need someone telling you what to do for every situation that causes anxiety. Step by step. And you would need blind faith to do that because if you don't understand the mechanics you can't understand why it works. The point is that CBT works and if you do it consistently it works without knowing why. Compare anxiety to having a bath. Basically you need a tub and water and soap. Take any one away and you can not have a bath. Take all three away and you definitely can not. Anxiety is the same. take away anything in the chain of events or all of them and you can't have anxiety and since DR/DP, are your symptoms and they do not exist without anxiety they will go away. Keep the chain broke and they will never ever come back. Ever. Unless you bring them back. You are the key.
Therapists usually start out with two one hour sessions a week and give you homework to do and ask each session if you did it and what your reaction is. They will also tell you if you are thinking negative. Therapists have a code of ethics, you can tell them anything and they can not repeat it. I have the same ethics even though I am not a therapist. I have done this more than once by Email. Usually with good results. Usually all a person needs is an explanation in plain language. The program has all the work sheets, I don't have that, all I have is explanations. And more important what not to do. That one isn't a very big list.
Davit
I'm not supposed to say this, but it can go away and never come back again or if it does it will be so weak it will be no more problem spilling your coffee. You have to have faith that this is so.