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Karin has reached the point where she feels she can be on her own so she is getting her own apartment. This is for the best since we were never compatible and only doing this so she could move to B.C. and that has happened. I'm sure this will reduce the stress for both of us. I'll go back to doing what I was and so will she. I must say it has been interesting. Exposure of a sort. You know some people actually live like this. At least we knew there was an end.
Davit.
It was going to snow tomorrow, now not till Thursday. I was looking forward to snow.
Colder this morning, winter is here. I have to switch to indoor activities but have no real interest. A friend who is half my age is prefabbing parts of his house in my large garage. I remember being like that, so busy I hardly had time to eat.
The trees on the mountains still have snow on them. They are quite pretty but look cold. I'm getting old I think, I don't like the cold anymore. And I can't honestly say I like being another year older.
Today I discovered I have a core belief I never knew I had till an episode triggered it. It has silently been controlling my social interaction with people. How does one change something that has been there for around 60 years. With determination I think. At least I know what it is. Now to find a way to change it. Most core beliefs can be changed without a profound change but this one will be one. It is going to change my personality and how I relate to people. It will also get rid of the disorder passive /aggressive too. More than just my world is going to be shook up by this change. It can not help but affect people around me. I guess I will see who really are friends.
On another note I'm anemic again, I do not like being this tired. It shall pass, quicker than the panic attacks did so that is some consolation. I do not like not being active. It increases my anxiety, but there will be no panic attacks over this.
I'm sorry to hear this as well. You have been so helpful and such a support to me since I joined in June. But I'm so glad that you and Red are both doing good without panic. I want to make it that far. It's my goal to get there.
sorry to hear both of you are considering leaving. I think you've changed so many lives, including mine. I'll miss you both, and remember the support through the difficult times in the past.
I'll probably wish I had your shoulders to lean on, in the the coming difficult times...thank you.
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